How many times had I heard that tone? But it had been two years since I was in a room with Asher. Two long years of doing everything in my power to erase his memory. Erase the hold he had on me.
“What?” I refused to look at him.
He moved closer. The air was suddenly thicker. His body was next to mine. His finger landed on the underside of my chin and tilted it upward.
“Do you know why I brought you to Big Bear? Do you remember anything about the attack yesterday?” he asked.
If I stared at his chest it would be better. I tried to tell myself not to think about how sculpted and chiseled it was. How muscle met muscle in hard angles under his crisp white shirt. I spotted the gun tucked at his waist. Holy shit. What was going on? Was he a bodyguard again?
“I’m tired.” I sighed. “And thirsty. And honestly, I’d like to get up and pee. So could you call the helpful nurse back in to give me some water?”
“Journey, look at me.”
I never wanted my eyes to drift to his. But there was something about Asher that I couldn’t deny. I blamed the long eyelashes. The smolder was undeniable. And how when he looked at me it was as if he could read my soul. He wasn’t supposed to be able to do that. Not now, not ever.
But I did as he told me. I wasn’t prepared for the sudden well of tears. His eyes said everything. He was worried and scared. He was protective and overbearing.
“What?” I whispered. Once I started, I couldn’t look away. It was everything I had fought against.
If we held this gaze, was it possible to get to know each other again without having to say a word?
“It’s ok if you can’t remember. It will come back to you. And you’re safe here. Nothing and no one will hurt you. I promise. You have time to recover. Time to remember when you’re ready.”
My lip started to tremble. What was he doing to me? There were two vacant years between us. He didn’t deserve my tears. He left me. He walked out. I wasn’t prepared for any of this. The pain he had caused was unbearable. How did I shield myself from him?
Maybe I didn’t know why I was here or what happened to me, but I wasn’t ready to forget the hollow feeling he had created in my chest. I hadn’t forgiven him. I had no intention of ever forgiving him.
“I-I just want to get up and take a shower. Please.” I turned my head before he could see the first tear fall.
“I’ll get Agnes. Hold on,” he offered.
He strolled out of the room. The tears were heavy on my lashes. Asher Westbrook was a liar. A horrible liar. Because as long as he was here my heart was going to break over and over. There was no way he could protect me from that kind of pain.
Five
Asher
I paced in the living room. It was the longest hour of my life. I waited for Journey to finish her shower. She had dismissed Agnes almost as soon as I sent her in. I realized maybe she just wanted me out of the room. Could I blame her?
She hated me.
There was a side of Journey I knew that few did. She was a survivor. She was strong and tenacious. I never dismissed her ability to claw her way up from a humble childhood. The woman I loved had always defied the odds. Maybe it was one of the reasons I knew I could leave—she would survive without me, no matter how painful it was.
I glanced at my phone when it rang. I was hoping for an update from my team, but it was Mickey.
“Mickey, what do you have for me?”
“Good morning, sir. How are things in L.A.?” she asked calmly.
“Actually, I’m in Big Bear.”
“Oh.” She paused. “Well, I hate to ask, sir, but…”
“What is it?”
“Avajean. She and Nicole were supposed to travel this morning, but I called Nicole and told her that she needed to stay in Valencia a few more days.”
“Shit,” I muttered.