Pretending She's Mine

“What is wrong with you?”

I shoved his chest, moving him barely an inch. I had suppressed the rage and confusion for too long. It came barreling out at once.

“What are you doing in my bed Asher? What am I doing in your house?” I was yelling. “Why are we here? Why are you here? Why do you think you have a say in anything that happens to me after you walked out? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Don’t do this.” His voice remained icy calm.

“Do what? Show emotion? Tell you you’re driving me insane with your controlling bullshit? That you have no right to crawl in my bed after you’ve been out of it for two years?” I was on my knees, growing taller and angrier.

He was going to hear two years of pent-up heartbreak.

I moved to strike him but he caught my wrist before I could slap his face.

“Stop it, Journey.”

“No.” I threw the other arm at him, and he snatched that one just as quickly.

“There’s no point in doing this.”

“Why? Because you think you might say something? Feel something? Or would you rather just keep me up here trapped like a prisoner. I won’t be Rapunzel in your rustic cabin,” I mocked. “I can’t live like this. I want to leave. Tomorrow.”

“I would have to perform a complete threat assessment at the Malibu estate before we could relocate. I don’t see why it’s even worth it. You’re safe here. The threat doesn’t know you’re here.”

It was that word that chilled me. The threat was still out there.

“I can’t stop living my life because of a lunatic. If I stay in hiding, he’s won.”

I couldn’t help but feel the warmth in Asher’s hands. His grip on my wrists was steady.

“He’s not winning. And he’s not going to win. I’ll make sure of that.”

“While keeping me hostage?”

“God damn it, Journey. You’re not a hostage. You’re safe.”

I tugged on his grip. “Then let me go.”

“No.”

I pulled harder against the restraint. “Asher,” I whispered.

He drew me closer to him, so that my body leaned forward.

“Don’t ask me to let you go again.”

“You can’t keep me.”

He was close enough I could feel his breath on my cheek and the heat from his body. I inhaled his scent, swearing I could reject what these memories did to me. The familiarity of Asher was too much. The closeness. The intimacy. The pain that was between us.

Darkness surrounded us and all I could think about was why we weren’t together anymore. I had loved this man with every part of my soul. And he had left me alone.

Eleven

Asher

The smell of her shampoo made me drunk. Her skin. Her warm breath. Five shots of bourbon and I’d feel less intoxicated than I did in this moment, holding her.

I’d spent the week keeping an eye on her, but keeping my distance. It hadn’t been easy. More like hard as hell. One of the hardest things I’d ever done, and that statement came from a man who performed rescue missions.