“No. I’ll be here. I’ve had everything sent to my tablet. I’m not leaving.”
I sighed. “Good. Maybe I’ll lie down then. Can you work in my room? There’s a desk.”
“I can do that.”
He followed me down the hall to the master bedroom. It was a suite I remodeled as soon as I bought the house. There were soft blush hues mixed with a pale sky blue. I liked to think it was somehow both cool and warm at the same time.
He watched as I curled up in the center of the bed. Asher pulled a blanket over me, draping it at my shoulders.
“Don’t let me oversleep,” I warned. “I need at least two hours for hair and makeup.”
“Got it. I remember your schedule.” He smiled.
“I remember all of this.” I knew I sounded sleepy. My body felt heavy and exhausted.
“All of what?” he asked, running a hand over my hip.
My eyes burned too much to open. “The way we fit together.” I turned into the feather pillow. “The way your hands feel. The bourbon you drink.”
“You remember all that?”
“Mmmhmm.” I nodded. “And how no one else in their right mind gets up at 5am to work out. Except us.”
“What?” he asked. “What did you say?”
I thought there was something different in his voice.
“I never dated anyone after you who wanted to wake up before five. We’re the crazy ones, I guess.” I didn’t know if either of us liked it, but it was what we had trained our bodies to do. He had always been meant for early-morning military PT. Even when he was no longer a Seal.
“No one else you dated…” His voice trailed off. “Holy fuck.”
My eyes blinked open. Oh great. I had opened Pandora’s box.
“I-I didn’t mean to say I dated other people. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to bring that up. Just forget I said anything.”
He waved me off. “It’s not that. I dated other people, Journey.”
“It’s ok. I know.” I just wanted him to rub my hip and put me back to sleep.
“No. I said something once.” He walked from the bed and paced in front of the window.
This nap was going nowhere. I pushed myself up. “What is it, Asher?”
He sat in an overstuffed chair. It was funny, it could actually make him look normal-sized. He folded his hands together.
His eyes landed on me. “There was a girl I dated.”
“We each have a mini-past. I’m ok with it. We don’t have to go through this.”
He shook his head. “This girl. She wanted more from me. She wanted to take me home to meet her parents and buy a dog together. She was serious. More serious than I ever was about her.” His eyes drifted across the room. “And I was an ass to her. I said something shitty.”
I didn’t know why he was confessing, but I listened. I didn’t want or need to rehash our separation. I knew it would reveal itself in fragments as we got to know each other again.
“It couldn’t have been that bad. You’ve never said anything I couldn’t forgive.”
He huffed. “I said, ‘You really think I want to meet your parents? I don’t even want to spend my 5am workouts with you.’” He paused. “She laughed and said that was ridiculous, no woman would get up that early anyway. And instead of keeping my fucking mouth shut, I told her she was wrong. I told her I loved 5am with you. That you were worth the sting of the morning. That you were the kind of woman I wanted to take home. That I’d buy a dog with you, because 5am workouts with you were what made me want to wake up every day.”
I swallowed hard and my stomach knotted. “Oh my God.”