Sounds Like Deception (Sounds Like 2)

I groaned. “I want to forget about him. I don’t want to think about the marketplace.” I chewed slowly, trying to make the bites of blueberry last longer. It only made my stomach rumble angrily.

“There is a fucking map out there with every location you’ve visited in the past six months.” The sharp angles of his jaw clenched together. “He isn’t going away. None of this is going away. You can’t bury your head in the sand on this.”

“I know what’s going to happen when I give my statement.”

“What’s that?” He folded his hands over his knees, watching me.

“They aren’t going to give me a choice about Project Compass. If I go in, they’ll take me in. I’ll lose my freedom.”

AJ cleared his throat. “Don’t you see if you’re on the inside, you are safer? You can be the one tracking Jack instead of the other way around? You can get out ahead of him. You can send the FBI after him. You will have the power, Syd. You. Not him. Don’t you want that?”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “I stopped hacking.”

“It’s time you start doing it again.”

“This is your job, right?”

AJ cocked his head. “To protect you?”

“No. To recruit me. That’s your job on Project Compass. You’re supposed to add me to the team. The nerdy one. I fit that peg. This is all for work.”

“I’ve been honest with you about my role in Project Compass. I told you exactly why you are needed.”

“But is that why you’re here? Because of the project or because of me?”

He pressed his lips together before he spoke. Lips that I had just kissed raw. Lips that had skimmed e

very inch of my body.

“You are the reason I’m here. I didn’t want you to get killed. I chipped your equipment when you were in the shower the other night in case you were kidnapped again. I would have done more, but it wasn’t like we were there long before you took off.” I heard the accusation in his voice. “I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And if that means convincing you to join an elite team that gives you the highest level of security in the country, then yes. I’m going to keep recruiting you. I can’t separate one from the other if it means you stay alive. You are the job right now.”

His words tore at me.

“I’m not an FBI agent. I didn’t go to the Academy. I’m not an investigator or a detective. I’m a Lit major, AJ. I don’t belong in the Bureau. That’s your life.” I didn’t want to finish my argument with how much I had learned to detest the FBI. After all, wasn’t it the reason he left?

He huffed. “I don’t see what choice you have.”

“I do have a choice,” I seethed. “I don’t have to do it. I don’t want to be on the Project Compass team. I’m finally doing what I want to do. This is my goal. This is my dream. They can’t force me to be a hacker. I finally figured out my path. I’m not giving this up. My show is my career now.”

“A podcast? You’re risking your life to record content?”

“Are you mocking me?”

He shook his head. “God, no.” He took a deep breath, and pulled my hands into his lap. He interlaced our fingers.

“It sounds like it. Like you don’t think this is valuable. Do you know how many people search for their birth families? How many mothers try to find their children? My story is important. And just because this is my medium now doesn’t mean it isn’t artistic.” I felt my pulse racing.

“Hey. Hey. I’m not saying that. I wouldn’t say that.” He shook his head. “I want you to live to tell this story. I want you to make a thousand podcast episodes.” He squeezed my hands. “I want to hear your voice. I want you to have this. But fuck it, Syd. You’re not going to have any of it if you’re dead.”

My eyes locked on his. “Then just stay with me,” I whispered.

His forehead pressed to mine. “If only it was that easy.”

Chapter Ten

It was all I wanted. Five years ago. I wanted him to stay.

I didn’t want to believe he was capable of walking away. AJ wasn’t that kind of guy. He was supposed to be honorable and trustworthy. A good guy who operated in a bad world. A man who carried a gun because he had to, not because he was armed to kill.