“They didn’t score?” I gritted my teeth together. My boyfriend was in an operating room and that was what Travis was focused on? The score of the game?
“Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. It was a stupid thing to say.”
I exhaled. “I know you didn’t mean it like that.” Deep down, I knew that was some kind of strange guy pride thing he had. It was probably the same for every other guy on the team. AJ was in surgery, but at least it was for a good reason—no goal scored.
Travis put a hand around my shoulder and squeezed. “He’s going to be ok. Just sit down.”
I nodded, pushing away enough to get some space.
“I think I’ll go get some coffee or something.” It was already close to ten. I didn’t know how long we would be here tonight or if AJ would even be going home with me.
“I can go with you.”
I shook my head. “No, thanks. I just need a second. I don’t really like hospitals. I’ll be right back. Call me the second you see a doctor.” I pointed my finger into his chest.
“Oh. Ok.”
I walked off in search of the hospital cafeteria. I wasn’t sure why I was barreling around the hospital the way I was. I was angry that AJ had been hurt. Annoyed with Travis’s flippant attitude. Pissed at the surgeon for whisking him away before I even made it to the hospital. Most of all I was angry at myself.
I turned the corner when I saw the sign for the cafeteria. One of the small kiosks was still open. I stood in line behind a man wearing a spring plaid shirt. It seemed too bright and out of place for a late night in the hospital. As if it was somehow unacceptable to parade around in pale pink and green when I was dealing with the heaviness in front of me.
I should have been here sooner. I should have been here when he was prepped for surgery. I should have kissed him before they gave him anesthesia. I should have told him something funny and made him smile. I would have been if I hadn’t been working my way through dark net channels. I reached for a tall cardboard cup and a lid. I poured hazelnut coffee to the top.
The thing was, I was making progress. Over the past few weeks I had started making friends. Unusual friends that had become useful. Almost indispensable. I was absorbing everything they threw at me. It was natural and quick the way I ingested the code and spit it back out to work any problem I had. It was as if I was training for a secret power.
I paid for my coffee and walked the halls back to the ortho wing. Travis was on his phone.
I sat next to him. “No news?”
“Nah. I texted Becs. She’s on her way over.”
I stared at the swinging doors that led to the surgery bays. “I guess we just have to wait.”
“Want to watch so
mething?”
“Huh?” I was fixated on the doors.
He reached into his gym bag. “I’ve got my iPad. We could watch something. Pass the time instead of this shit.” He nodded toward the TV mounted on the wall. I wasn’t sure why home renovation shows were supposed to be soothing to waiting room visitors.
I shrugged. “Sure. I guess.”
I couldn’t remember what Travis pulled up to watch that night. Or just how long we sat there. What I did remember was the relief I felt when I met Dr. Wexler. She smiled reassuringly when she reported that AJ had made it through surgery fine and was recovering from the anesthesia. She led me down the hall to his room.
She stopped just in front of his door. “He’s probably going to be groggy until morning. Give him another hour to clear more of the anesthesia and I’ll send you two home tonight. The nurse has all his discharge instructions. You can pick up his prescriptions tomorrow.”
“Yes, absolutely.”
She signed his chart and slid it into the pocket on the wall. “He’s going to have a quick recovery. I see no reason why he’ll have any problems with his arm.”
“Thank God,” I whispered.
“I’d like to see him back at my office in two weeks. I’m telling you this because most patients don’t remember anything after surgery. He signed off before surgery that you’re his emergency contact.”
“He did?”
She nodded. “Yes. I think he was waiting for you to get here.”