Sounds Like Obsession (Sounds Like 1)

“Your place,” I explained. “I don’t think I’m ready to think about anything yet.”

He cupped my face. “You don’t have to ask.”

It was strange to be inside AJ’s apartment. His bachelor pad. It wasn’t much different from when he used to live alone. I recognized the end tables and his kitchen chairs. I didn’t expect the small pangs it gave me to see things we used to share, split up and in a different spot. There was a potted plant in the corner that Becca had given us when we moved in to the townhouse. I couldn’t remember how AJ had ended up with it.

He secured the extra deadbolt and armed the alarm before moving away from the door. I wanted to pretend he had a way of blocking out the rest of the world. That once the door was closed, it was impenetrable to danger or fear. No one could threaten us with losing each other again as long as we stayed on this side of the door.

“I have cameras and sensors. You don’t have to worry about anything here. You’re safe. Completely safe.”

He opened the drawer to the entryway table. I stared at the gun now in his hand. He shoved a clip of ammunition in the bottom, clicking it into place.

“Is that necessary?” I felt gun-wary after the shootout in the hangar. Someone had died today. Because of AJ it wasn’t me. He had risked his life to save me more than once today.

“I just want you to know I’ll protect you.”

“I don’t doubt that. It’s just…”

He placed the gun on the bar. “I know. You’ve never liked guns.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “I still don’t.” I doubted I would ever be comfortable around them.

“It’s just a precaution. It’s not like I need to wear it or anything tonight. Try not to think about it.”

AJ reached for my suitcase and rolled it along the hallway, taking my work bag with him. I was grateful he had retrieved it from the jet. I hadn’t backed up the recordings because I didn’t want them on a server where they could be discovered. I didn’t want duplicate copies, but with a brush of losing each one of them, I might have to reconsider a backup plan. They were too valuable to leave to chance.

AJ pushed open a door at the end of the hallway. I followed him inside.

“This is my room. The full bath is right through there.” He motioned to the door on the other side of the bed. “How does a shower sound?”

“Like heaven.” I smiled.

“Ok. There are towels in the cabinet. Why don’t you enjoy the hot water and I’ll make us something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Me too.” I grinned shyly, thinking of the showers we took together. It was hard not to remember them when I was about to undress in his bathroom.

He lifted my suitcase onto a chair in the corner of the room. I realized it was sparse. His comforter was a steel gray and there was one bedside table and a lamp. I noticed the book lying face down next to his pillow.

“What else do you need?”

“I’m fine. Really.” I knew I wasn’t convincing. “I can help you with dinner in a few minutes.”

“No. No.” He backed up toward the door. “I’ve got this. You relax.”

He closed the door and I heard his footsteps fade down the hall. The disappointment crept into my chest. What did I expect? Did I think AJ was going to rip my clothes off and take me in the shower? Did I think because of a few heated kisses under intense circumstances, that everything was different? That we’d have insane hot makeup sex and erase our past?

I shook my head as I turned the water to hot. The aura o

f danger had faded for him. Today may have done a lot to bring us closer together, but it wasn’t a magical glue. We weren’t instantly a couple. I tossed the clothes the hospital had given me into a pile on the floor.

I needed to prepare myself for the fact that AJ did what he had to do to get us off the flight. Now that we were on the ground, I had to accept reality. We hadn’t been together for five years. He would make sure I was safe tonight, but after this I was on my own again.

I towel-dried my hair after my shower and dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top I plucked from my suitcase. I wanted stretchy and comfortable. I padded into the kitchen, my hair damp around my face.

“Fuck,” I heard him whisper more to himself than to me when I appeared.

His eyes fell to my breasts.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked.