Dirty Game

I pushed open the door, my heart in my throat, my palms dewy with perspiration, my breath fevered.

Was any of it real, or had it all just been a flash of summer heat?

I didn’t know whether to run into the bar screaming his name or sneak in like a spy. Right now, nothing made any sense.

I took a deep breath and walked through the door, opting for the less dramatic entrance choice. The lights were low and candles dotted the tables. From behind the bar, I saw the bartender leaning on her elbows, eyes fixed on the stage. I scanned the room, skipping over the locals who were listening to the performance. There he was, sitting on the stage, holding his guitar. I walked in as the song he was playing ended.

The handful of drinkers started clapping. I’d never seen the place so empty.

“One more before I take a break, y’all.” Blake spoke into the mic. “This is something new I just wrote. So just indulge me for a minute. I’m bearing a little of my soul tonight.”

My throat tightened. I stepped one foot in front of the other and slid into an open seat at the back of the bar. I thought maybe the shadows would protect me. He couldn’t see me in the dark corner.

“Whoooo, baby. You sing whatever you want!” one of the fan girls shouted from a nearby bar stool.

I shot her a death stare.

Blake’s laugh filled the bar. “Calm down, Cece. I’ll play your song in the next set.”

I thought he winked at the girl. Maybe this was a mistake. A huge mistake. What was I thinking coming here? That he would be different? That he would change? That he had held a flame for me as deep and heated as the one I held for him.

No matter how I tried, this man was etched in my soul. He was everything to me. I knew that before I found out about the baby. I’d known it since our first kiss. I knew it at our last kiss. My ribs pinched together at the thought that there was someone else in the picture. He had moved on so quickly. And I had mourned him. I had cried for us.

One note launched into the air, followed by another, then Blake started to sing.

Summer winds in your hair

Feeling more than the salty air

I should have known when you smiled

That you were taking my heart

When you left this sleepy town

So why did you have to kiss me like that?

Girl, why did you have to kiss me like that?

With our feet in the sand

And your body in my hands

There was no way to keep from

Falling under your spell

So why did you have to kiss me like that?

Girl, why did you have to kiss me like that?

Summer rolled out like a wave

You’re gone, but I still see you in this place

So why did you have to kiss me like that?

Girl, why did you have to kiss me like that?