Resist

I didn’t know if I had the energy for this now. It was one more layer of emotion and confusion on top of a heart-wrenching day.

“I was called out of town for work, and I thought I’d be back and be able to call, but it didn’t turn out that way. I was in meetings. The time zone change didn’t help and when I could call I knew you were asleep.”

“Time zone? Where were you?”

“Germany. It was supposed to be a two-day thing but it turned into a full week. I would have emailed, but we never exchanged that. I’m sorry. I feel like an ass for not telling you ahead of time. I’m not good with spur of the moment planning.”

I looked into his eyes. “You were in Germany all week?”

He nodded. “Yeah, dick move on my part. After that night at the memorial, I had every intention of asking you out for the weekend. Dinner. A movie. Something. But I was on a plane the next morning at six.”

I crossed my arms, daring myself to accept his excuse.

“When I heard your voice on the phone I thought I just better come over. You didn’t sound like yourself.”

“I-I don’t know, Vaughn. My life is chaos right now. Complete chaos.”

I’d heard stories like this before. It echoed ones of lost cell phones, or grandmothers who had suddenly fallen ill. I didn’t know why he would make it up, I didn’t care. I had to take care of myself.

“I brought you something.” He jogged back inside and returned with a box.

I looked at him, stunned. “What is it?”

“Not much, but I’m hoping you’ll forgive me and let me take you out.”

I peeled back the gold paper and stared at the writing in German on the front of the box.

“Each chocolate is full of a liquor shot,” he explained. “I thought it might be fun. And you like chocolate.”

I stared at him. Was I wrong? Had he actually gone to Germany on an emergency trip? Was I so burned from terrible men that I pegged a good one as bad? Holy shit. My radar had malfunctioned.

“Thank you.” I looked at him. He moved in closer and I stiffened.

Not because I was afraid of him, but because I was afraid of myself. How I reacted when he was near. I was drawn to him. Pulled to him. It was inexplicable and undeniable.

“Vaughn, I-I don’t want you to have to tell me where you go or where you’ve been. We’re not even … it was one date, right?” I tried to back pedal all the things I had thought and felt the week he had been missing.

I didn’t want him to know how often I checked my phone, or looked for him when I was on the Metro. Because that made me sound like a love-struck girl with a high school crush. And nothing about what I felt when I was around him seemed childish or small. That was what was so terrifying. It had felt real and whole in an instant. Faster than anything had before.

“Yeah, it was one date. But I knew there wouldn’t be a second one if I didn’t say something.” He winked.

I knew my resistance was at an all-time low. That small gesture was what I needed. It was the push I wanted to send me into his arms.

He set his wine glass on the ledge, before grabbing my waist and roughly tugging me to his chest.

My eyes lifted to his and his mouth came crashing down on mine. I melted into his hands. His tongue lashed and twisted with a fury I was desperate for. I loved how he nipped and sucked at my lips as he were starving for them. As he craved the way they tasted as much as I craved his.

My hands slid against his neck. My fingers pressed into his skin, absorbing the heat from each touch.

Somewhere along the way he lifted me from the patio and tugged my legs around his hips.

“No roommate tonight?” he whispered.

I shook my head. “No roommate.”

He staggered forward, gripping my ass with his palms and deposited me onto the chaise lounge. My brain turned off and my body turned on.

His body followed, pressing his full weight against me. The kissing burned a fire from my mouth to my throat and behind my ears. His hands traveled over my hips and I bucked instinctively when he rubbed the heel of his palm over the mound between my legs.