Resist

I grinned. The pain in my throat eased. “You’ll have to come up and visit. Greer would love to see you.”

“I’ll talk to Morgan about it.”

“Ok.” I smiled. Maybe later I would tell him about Vaughn. I had to stop keeping my own set of secrets. “Bye.”

He followed me to the landing and watched as I walked down the stairs.

There was a calmness that usually didn’t come when I left Garrett. We had that quirky twin bond. That unspeakable link that united us when everything else around us was in shambles. But as I looked at my brother leaning over the landing, I didn’t have the fear that something devastating was around the corner waiting for him. It might have been overly optimistic, but maybe there was something good that came out of his digital detox. I waved over my shoulder, until he was a dot in my rearview mirror.

Mom was waiting at the door when I got home.

I spotted the bag at her ankles.

“What is that?” I asked.

“I’m going to see your brother.”

I shook my head. “No, Mom. You shouldn’t do that. He’s fine. He’s going to be ok.”

She tugged on the pearl studs. “You’ve seen him. I haven’t. There’s a difference.”

I sighed. “I realize that. Why don’t we call him? You can screen call and see his new beard.” I pulled out my phone. He’d better answer this time.

“He has a beard?” She looked confused.

“Oh, yeah. It’s a full mountain man beard. I didn’t know he could grow something that impressive.”

“You’re calling him now?”

The screen showed nothing but my face, but Garrett answered.

“There’s someone who wants to see your beard,” I explained. “I thought this might be better than a visit.”

“Oh yeah. Right. Put her on.”

I handed the phone to my mother and walked to my room to pack. I heard her mumbled conversation with Garrett travel down the hall. I hoped it was enough to soothe her. To give her comfort. To give him space.

By the time I walked back to the kitchen she was sitting at the table.

“Mom?”

“It looks good. I like the beard.”

I sat across from her. “I do too. I think he’s going to be ok. For now.”

“And if he isn’t?” She looked at me.

“We’re here for him. Keep checking on him. Call him, but not every hour.” I eyed her. “And on the days he’s not ok—we’re here.”

She nodded. “Yes, we’re here.”

“I need to take the rental car back and get to the airport.”

“Want me to go with you?” she offered.

“That’s ok. But thank you.”

I stood to hug her. She seemed frail in my arms. I wondered how much of Garrett’s illness had worn the weight from her limbs. She was thinner than I had ever seen her. She smelled like vanilla. She kept a jar of hand crème next to her bed. It was the same scent she had used since I was old enough to sneak in her room and dab it on my arms.