Resist

I couldn’t make the scraps small enough. I couldn’t make them any smaller. I couldn’t make the traces of him disappear.

I collapsed on the bed.

“It wasn’t a con.” I breathed. “It wasn’t a con.” The whisper didn’t sound like my own voice.

My heart beat was erratic. I had to get out of this bed. I needed air.

I pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, sliding my arms through a zip-up hoodie and headed onto the balcony. It was cold.

It was here on the roof I’d first felt it. Undeniable love. Unquestionable sexual chemistry. An inexplicable connection. I sat on the chaise lounge.

Why? Why did he do it? Why get in so deep?

My head hurt. My whole body hurt.

I couldn’t see anything ahead. All I could picture was what was behind me. What I wanted was in the rearview mirror. Even if that included a man who had lied to me. I knew I was supposed to hate him. I shouldn’t want to turn around and find him. To hear his voice. To feel his touch. Why couldn’t I have him? Even if he wasn’t the man I thought he was. Because right now he was who I needed most to survive. How did I get through it without him?

I heard the door slide open and I turned, desperate that I was wrong and Vaughn had come back. He would stroll onto the balcony and swear we’d make it through the nightmare.

My heart plummeted to my stomach when I saw Greer.

“It’s cold out here.”

“It is,” I agreed, abhorred I was holding on to some kind of hope for him. I didn’t want her to see it on my face.

She walked toward me with an extra blanket and a cup of coffee. She had a checkered one draped over her shoulders.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” She sat close to my feet at the end of the chaise. “I was angry and I was scared.”

I took the coffee from her.

She continued, “And I should have thought about what you had just gone through with Garrett and the shock of the information.”

“We’re both in shock,” I whispered.

“But I shouldn’t have been so angry. I said some horrible things.”

“I did too,” I admitted.

“I’ve been suspended indefinitely.”

“What?” My voice had volume to it for the first time since yesterday.

She pressed her lips together. “While the investigation is on-going I can’t go back to the senate committee.”

“Oh God, Greer.”

“And Preston thinks we shouldn’t talk anymore. Not until after everything is cleared up.”

“What? What does this have to do with him? He should be here for you.”

She shook her head. “He’s right. He needs to stay away from any scandal. And he can’t risk his own senator being implicated in any way. I think a break is good.”

I closed my eyes. Holy shit. I hadn’t thought about Senator Mitcherson. It would only weaken Lana’s case if he was drawn into the spotlight for involvement with a security breach. She would be pushed out of the way. The web was getting thicker and more tangled.

I hadn’t been able to tell Greer about Lana’s case. I still couldn’t. But once she discovered the link, she’d be angrier with me than she was now. I had no idea how Preston would take it.

“I’m so sorry.”