In reality, seeing Hawk again had been a slap across the face. I worked so hard to bury down my broken heart after he up and left. It was made that much easier as a new mom. I often didn’t have time to think let alone sulk around. In that one instant of seeing him, it all come flooding back to me.
I had the sudden need to flee. If I could run away, I could continue to live in this relatively blissful life where he left, and I didn’t have to face these emotions resurfacing.
A quick trip through a drive-through to get Em a fruit smoothy and we were headed back home. As I pulled into our apartment complex, I couldn’t help but wonder how much they would charge for me to end my contract early.
I couldn’t believe it, but I was already going over that mental list of things I needed to do to leave. How soon could we move away? Would I be able to get a new job? Where would we go?
I never was really close to my parents, but moving back to South Carolina seemed like the obvious choice. Maybe they would let us crash with them for a while till I got back on my feet.
Neither my father or mother were very happy when I told them that I was pregnant. As much as they loved their granddaughter, their opinion of me was that I made my bed and was now stuck with the consequences of it.
It wasn’t a big shock to me when they were less than thrilled. I had grown up in a very prominent bible thumping Baptist town with very devout parents. I unquestionably wasn’t the first one in my community to get pregnant without a father in the picture, but that didn’t make the sting any less for my parents.
I carried Emma up the two flights of stairs to our small two bedroom apartment. It was modest and simple, but that worked well for us. We didn’t take up much space and didn’t need much.
“How about I put some PJ Mask on for you, and you can snuggle on the couch?” I asked Emma.
She quietly nodded her reply not lifting her head from my shoulder.
Settling Emma on the couch surrounded by her favorite blanket and fluffy pillow I put on her shows. She would happily watch the same season a million times, despite the fact she already knew it all by heart.
I sat down to a pile of papers to grade. I usually didn’t have to do such things being the P.E. teacher, but this year I also added the task of teaching the cardio health class. It was half a year of health education and half a year of cardio training.
It was a class required for all ninth graders. It made it that much more tedious to read paper after paper of thirteen-year-olds explaining what they think healthy nutrition looks like. I was pretty sure they didn’t care about writing the assignment anymore then I was to read it. Sadly it was a state requirement for the both of us.
Thankfully my phone rang pulling me away from my papers. I looked down at my smartphone and was slightly less thankful for the call.
“Hi, Mom,” I said doing my best to hide a heavy sigh.
Of my two parents, I got along the least with her. My mother was a southern bell through and through. I on the other had played sports and didn’t care much for revivals. We never got along through my teenage years, and then I went and chose to move away to Georgia for college.
Having Emma was the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. Very few words ever seemed to pass between us solely for the fact we had nothing in common.
“How is that granddaughter of mine doing?” She asked.
I had to give it to my mom, even if we didn't have the best of relationship she did care for Emma.
“Still the same, not feeling too great.”
“Did you take her to the doctor like I told you?”
I rolled my eyes, “yes I did. I am capable of taking care of my own child.”
“Well, what did they say?” She said ignoring my jab.
“Just that it was probably a cold. He took swabs for the flu and strep, and both came back negative.”
“That’s good at least,” she said more to herself than to me.
“Do you think she will be better by next weekend?”
“I don’t know Mom,” I answered knowing why she asked.
My younger sister’s sixteenth birthday was going to be held the following weekend. Where we lived, your sixteenth birthday was akin to a coming out into society with southern bell dress and all.
Alexa was the daughter Mom always wished for. With eleven years between us, we weren't that close to each other. That being said, I would have still liked to go to her party even if it was going to be a tafia barf fest.
“I plan on it, but if Em is not feeling well probably not.”