Double Daddy Trouble

Soon I felt the heavy weight that told me she had fallen asleep. I set the book aside but wasn’t ready to move. I softly stroked the length of her black hair. Softly I ran one finger down her cheek. It was still that soft, cherubic chub of a young child.

She stirred a little, so I pulled my hand away. I moved to get up and realized that Julie was standing in the doorframe.

She was staring at me with an unreadable expression. Maybe I had crossed a line for her.

“Sorry, she just fell asleep,” I said trying to move as stealthily as possible as I got out of her bed.

“No, its fine,” she said turning away.

I could swear she wiped away a tear in the process before walking down the hall and to the living room.

I followed after her and found her folding laundry on the couch.

“It never ends,” she said without looking at me. I could tell her voice was a little husky from emotion.

“I guess I should go,” I said rubbing the back of my neck.

“Yeah, sure,” she said looking my way for just a split second. I could tell by the red rim of her eyes she had been crying.

“Jules, what is it?” I urged as I instinctually pulled her into my arms.

She didn’t fight me. Instead, she crumbled against my chest. I held her and soothed as best as I could as she cried against me.

I was waiting for her to yell at me. Tell me these tears were my fault. That I had left her, hurt her, and cause her so much more difficulty then she should have had to face over the last six years. I deserved it. That and so much more.

“What if you died,” she finally whispered against my chest. “What if you never came home and Em never got to meet you.”

I was shocked. She was upset because I got hurt? The only thing worse then her hating my guts was the fact that after all I did to her, she still cared for me.

I walked her over to the couch and pulled her onto my lap as we sat.

“I’m fine. It wasn’t that bad, Jules. I’m the last person you need to cry over.”

“Not that bad. If it wasn’t that bad, then you wouldn’t have come home. Hawk what if you died,” she pleaded again.

“I’m here now. That’s all that matters. I won't leave again. Not you, not Em. I swear. I’m here for both of you.”

She lifted her head and looked into my eyes. Searching for truth in my words. What I wouldn’t give to make her see how much I felt for her, how much I wished I had never left her.

I brushed a thumb across her cheek to remove a tear. When she did push away from my touch, I continued to trail it along her neck. Bringing my thumb back up, I brushed it on her lips.

She parted them ever so slightly, inviting me in. It was all I needed. I took her mouth with mine. At first our lips just touched softly. I let my hand tangle into the thick brown locks that still splayed damp around her.

Her arms encircled over my shoulders and around my neck. She opened her mouth to me, and I dove in greedy.

“Hawk,” she moaned no more than a whisper against our lips.

I gripped her ass and pulled her down on the couch under me. She arched her hips up to meet the hard pressure I was giving her.

“I’ve missed this,” I said as I nibbled a trail down her neck and onto her shoulder.

I pulled her tank top and bra strap aside giving me better access to her shoulder and down on to her breast.

“Wait!” Julie suddenly said. “I can’t do this.”

She pushed against my shoulders, and I instantly stopped.

“I’m sorry,” I said cursing myself. I knew I needed to move slow to gain her trust back and I had just blundered it. “I should go.”