Double Daddy Trouble

“Like riding a bike,” Savannah said with a wink.

“Yeah, something like that. It was nice to talk with Hawk too.”

“Talk about what?” Savannah asked knowing that, as the best friend, she was defiantly entitled to these details.

I told her all that we talked about over dinner and most of what he said me back at his place. I kept the story about his injury vague, however. I could tell from the way he told me last night, that it was still something very personal and hard for him to talk about.

“Wow,” Savannah said when I was done. She looked at me over her now empty mug deciding if she wanted to ask what was on her mind. “Do you think you will tell Em now?”

I gave a long sigh.

“Yeah, I mean, I think so. I don’t know. Things are happening really fast. I just need a second to process it all before I do something as irreversible as that.”

“I know you still love him,” Savannah said. “You never stopped. You may have had your heart broken, but it has always belonged to Hawk. I get being scared, but you have to admit to yourself that you still love him. And that, no matter what he did in the past, he deserves to be Emma’s father now.”

I thought about Savannah’s words as I hugged her and sent her out the door and back to her own place. I was grateful to have such a good friend like her. Not only Savannah always there for me when I needed her, but she also never shied away from telling me the truth. Even if I didn’t want to hear it.

She was right. I did love Hawk. Really, I always had. Even when he left. My hurt never took away how much I loved and needed him. I knew deep in my heart that there would never be another for me.

It was a terrifying realization to come to. It meant fully opening myself up again and risking being hurt a second time. I had to put my trust in Hawks words though. I knew he was sincere in wanting to always be there for Em. I had to trust his words that he would always be here for me too.

I heard some restless coughing from down the hall and figured that Emma must be waking up. My mind turned to her as I turned to the sound of her little feet coming down the hall.

She was coughing pretty bad, and her eyes looked sunken like she hadn’t slept at all. I immediately came to her side.

Her whole body was burning up with fever. Even worse she looked almost lethargic and seemed to struggle to breathe.

“Emm

a, honey?”

She looked up at me, “Mommy, I don’t feel good,” is all she said.

I picked her up and carried her over to the couch. My heart was pumping, and I was filling with fear.

I grabbed my cell out of my purse still in a pile with my dress and shoes and called Hawk.

“Miss me already,” his voice said from the other end of the line.

“Hawk, its Emma,” was all I could say.

I was struggling to keep my emotions in check. I didn’t want to scare her. At the same time, I was afraid myself.

“What’s wrong?” Hawk demanded suddenly alert and severe.

“She has this horrible cough that kept getting worse, and her fever is back like crazy high. It’s almost like she is wheezing when she breathes.”

“I’m coming right now,” I heard him say as a door shut in the background. “Put a cold washcloth on her head and if you got a humidifier get that going.”

I sat by Em’s side, my cold cloth to the back of her neck while she leaned over the little room oil diffuser. It was the closest thing I had to a humidifier.

Hawk didn’t even knock, but instead just burst through the door. He was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt he had dropped me off in and in his hand was a medical bag.

He walked over to the couch without a word and opened up the bag. In an instant, I felt all my fears rush away. Hawk was here now, and he would make sure that Emma was okay.

Fourteen

The ten minutes it took me to get from townhouse to Julie’s apartment took way too long. I was doing my best to keep my cool for both my girl's sake, but on the inside, I was panicking.