Double Daddy Trouble

I picked up my phone with a shaking hand and opened my calendar app. I used an application that helped me track my menstrual cycle. It reminded me when to expect the cramps and emotional turmoil to begin. I had been blessed, or maybe cursed, with an extremely punctual, regular cycle. Ever since I was thirteen years old, it had come every month like clockwork. And this time well, it did seem like it had been an awfully long time since I last dealt with it.

“Oh God,” I mumbled.

Sure enough, there was a day marked in red on my calendar. A day five days ago. My period was five days late. That had never, ever happened.

“No. It can’t be. There’s no fucking way,” I breathed, starting to tremble. I stood up and grabbed my purse, hurrying out the door to go pick up a pregnancy test from the drug store across the street. I bought it and nearly ran back to the hotel, chugging a bottle of water on the way.

Four minutes later, I had my answer.

In the form of a little pink cross on a baby-blue background. I nearly burst into tears at the sight of it, I was so overwhelmed. What the hell? What was I supposed to do now? I sat down on the floor of my hotel room, staring at the pink cross. This could not be happening. Not with my lifestyle. I flew all over the world. I drank wine with wealthy people. I was a jetsetter, an extremely busy workaholic who hardly had time to take care of herself, much less anyone else. And I wasn’t even technically with the father of the child.

I got a flash of Bruin with his daughter. The way he smiled, the corners of his blue eyes crinkling just a little bit as he looked at her with such adoration on his face. The way he scooped her up and kissed her all over her little pudgy face, making her scream with laughter and joy. The way he treated her with such unending patience. He was softer around her. It was blaringly apparent to everyone who saw them together that she was the center of his world. She was the most important thing to him. And after him well, I had a feeling it was me.

I looked down at my stomach. It still looked pretty flat to me. It was hard to imagine that there could be something growing inside of me there. It seemed impossible, really. And yet, I just knew it was true. It was real. My heart surged with affection. Yep. I was pregnant. With the child of the man I had loved since I was a teenage girl, infatuated at the dinner table over Thanksgiving. I had loved Bruin for so long, and now we were going to be tied together forever. And I know that no matter how frightening it seemed, it was for the best. It would be okay.

“More than okay,” I mumbled, smiling through the thin sheen of tears in my eyes. “It would be magical.”

I stood up and grabbed my purse. It was nearly midnight now, but I knew what had to be done. I needed to finally face my fears and confront Jeff about my relationship with Bruin. If there had ever been a perfect time to abandon all worry and jump feet-first into this, it was now. Because it was no longer just Bruin and me. It was three of us. Four counting Emma.

I rushed out the door and downstairs, hailing a cab. The driver took me across town to the luxury hotel where my brother was staying. It was his favorite, the one he always chose. I remembered his room number and told the receptionist I needed to see the occupant urgently. She called his room and let him know I was coming, and I tore away up the stairs, ignoring the elevator and the pounding of my heart. I burst into the room, and I must have looked totally crazy, because Jeff jumped back from me.

“Jilly? What’s the matter? What happened? You look like a wreck.”

“Jeff, I need to talk to you.” I burst out, breathless from my run upstairs.

“Okay, okay. Calm down. What is it?” he asked, walking up and putting his hands on my shoulders. I blinked up at him and took a deep breath.

“I’m going to get right to the point.” I took a heavy breath “I’ve been seeing Bruin behind your back. I’m sorry.”

“Bruin? My college friend?” he clarified, his face going pale.

“Yes. That’s the one. He and I—we’ve been together. At first it was nothing serious. But then it became serious. Fast. Jeff, I know you’re going to be pissed off about this, but you have to understand that I love him,” I rambled.

Jeff stepped away, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you did this to me,” he groaned, rubbing his temples. “Haven’t I always done everything in my power to protect you? Defend you? Keep you safe?”

“Yes. And believe me, I appreciate it. Everything you’ve done me for our entire lives, but this has nothing to do with that.”

“Clearly you don’t,” he interrupted, throwing his hands in the air. “That guy is a reckless womanizing asshole. He has a daughter from a failed relationship. The mother of that child? She was a one-night stand. He left her just like he leaves all of them. He sleeps around. He treats women like they’re disposable. Last I checked, you aren’t disposable, are you?”

Tears burned in my eyes but I stood defiantly. “The mother of his child passed away, Jeff.”

“What?” My brother gasped.

“Yeah. That’s why he’s raising Emma alone. Besides, he’s not that guy anymore. His daughter, the one you just mentioned so cruelly, she is an angel. She’s adorable and smart and she’s just like him. And she likes me.”

“You met his daughter?” he asked, confused.

“Yes. I met her in California. He’s an amazing dad.”

“Sure he is.”

“And that’s a good thing,” I cut him off, taking another deep breath. “Because I’m pregnant, and Bruin is the father.”

Jeff stared at me, his mouth falling open. “What?” he asked quietly.

“So, you can call me a slut or an idiot or whatever you want, but the truth is, I’m happy. Bruin is the one for me, Jeff. I love him,” I announced.

He looked as if he was mulling the news over in his mind. I worried what conclusion he would reach. Finally, he walked up to me and hugged me tightly.