“Merdon has a lot of dollars.”
“You think they’ll bribe people?”
He shrugged. “They’ll pay millions to make sure this application is successful. And they’ll pay their lawyers to exploit every loophole they can find.”
“And millions more to advertise it when it passes.” Some of those millions would be going to Joshua. I’d tried to push our night together out of my brain. I’d tried to forget what I’d seen. The contract. The different Calmation logos. The shiny, kid-friendly packaging that would make a dangerous drug seem safe. I didn’t want any of it to be true.
“Exactly. We’re going to need some money from somewhere to fight this properly.”
We couldn’t compete. But we needed to try. The only wealthy people I knew were the ones Joshua had introduced me to, and they weren’t about to take my side over his. Even though he was dead wrong.
“We could set up an online fundraiser. You could mention it in your interview tomorrow. It might help pay for a lawyer.”
“Good idea. Here are my notes.” He passed me two folded sheets of plain paper covered in what would, three months ago, have been indecipherable scrawl. Now I could read Gerry’s handwriting perfectly.
I scanned down the page, making sure he’d taken the agreed approach, which was to say that the use of this type of drug was effective only in limited circumstances that had to be established by a doctor. “I think it’s worth pointing out that Merdon is in the business of selling drugs, not solutions to medical conditions.”
“I like that idea.” Gerry started adding to his notes.
“Perhaps you can even mention that we’re fundraising for legal costs in your interview. I’ll set up a GoFundMe page people can contribute through.”
Gerry sat back and steepled his fingers together. “I knew I was right to hire you the moment I met you. You’re a clever, caring doctor. And a good colleague.”
“Thank you, sir.” Coming from Gerry, that was about the best compliment I could ever hope to get. “But I have a confession to make.”
I took a breath and told Gerry about my conversation with Joshua, where I didn’t mention any names but told him we were getting ready to campaign against an ADHD drug for children.
“Well, he’s a bright man. He will have known you were talking about Calmation.” Which was why it was all the more hurtful that he’d not said anything to me. I’d trusted him, but he’d not done the same in return.
“I’m really sorry.”
Gerry shook his head. “You didn’t say anything that isn’t already circulating as industry gossip anyway. You’ve not done any damage. Now, go home and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
Sleep wouldn’t come easily. I had too much to think about. Too much to do. The irony was that the person I wanted to go home and share all this with, the one person who might be able to help, was also the last man I wanted to see right now.
Thirty-Three
Hartford
I’d almost missed my tube stop because my eyes were so heavy with the need to sleep. It was five to midnight by the time I stepped off the lift to spend my last night in the hotel residences. Just over twenty-four hours ago, I’d ridden up this lift with Joshua, giddy from a romantic picnic, about to have the best night of my life.
How could so much change in such a short space of time?
Joshua would be in the bath or asleep by now. At least I wouldn’t have to see him. I’d had a busy day and every valid excuse not to take the four missed calls I’d had from him.
Even if I hadn’t been busy, I wouldn’t have answered. There was nothing to say. Seeing that Merdon pitch on his dining table had unfogged my brain and brought me back to reality. These last few months, I’d slowly and unwittingly lowered my forcefield until it was barely more than a line in the sand. Now I was being reminded of the reasons it was there in the first place. I just wish my heart didn’t feel quite so dense in my chest, knowing I had to walk away.
I stepped off the lift and tried to tread as lightly as I could to my front door. My heavy heart plunged to my feet when I heard the familiar sound of Joshua’s door opening behind me.
“You snuck out this morning and haven’t returned my calls,” he said, his tone even—not super friendly. Not angry.
“I know,” I said.
“I want to talk to you about your concerns with Calmation.”
I didn’t turn around, pretending instead to rummage for my keys in my bag. “There’s nothing to say.”
“So that’s it? You’ve won me over and now you’re dumping me?”
He was trying to be cute. Charming. But I wasn’t into it. My forcefield was back up.