Way Off Plan (Firsts and Forever 1)

He continued quietly, “Time stops, everything goes silent. I’m looking at my uncle, and he’s staring back at me. And he knows exactly what I’m thinking. He’s just watching me, totally immobile, waiting to see what I do. And God help me, I think, just give me a reason. One smirk, one sneer, as if he hasn’t given me enough reasons already by threatening my family.”

Dmitri took a deep breath. “But then, I see his hand. It’s resting on the table top, holding a cigarette. And it’s shaking. It’s actually shaking! My uncle, he’s like a machine, so cold, so emotionless. But right then, in that moment, he’s scared. He really thinks I’m about to kill him. And seeing his fear, even just that little tell, it reminds me he’s human. And I can’t do it. I can’t kill him.

“But God, Jamie, I came so fucking close. And to see that darkness in myself – it absolutely sickened and terrified me.”

“You’re not dark, Dmitri.”

“I’m not?”

“No. You didn’t do it,” I said.

“But I wanted to.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

He tilted his head up and met my gaze. “It doesn’t?”

“No. All that matters is the fact that you didn’t pull the trigger.”

He put his head back on my chest, and was quiet for a while. And then he whispered, “I really don’t want to be a criminal, Jamie. I’ve never wanted that.”

“I know. So we’re going to get you out of the mafia, away from that life,” I told him, and Dmitri nodded and held on tight.

Chapter Thirteen

Dmitri was already awake when I opened my eyes the next morning. He was watching me intently, his face inches from mine. He smiled when I awoke, but there was something in his eyes, in his expression that made him seem fragile somehow, unsure of something.

“You ok, baby?” I asked.

He nodded and broke my gaze. “Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Want to shower together?”

He looked up at me and said, “Yes. But will you fuck me first?” That fragility was still there, the uncertainty, and I touched his cheek gently.

“Dmitri, are you sure you’re ok?”

His blue eyes searched my face as he said softly, “I just really need to know I belong to you. Will you tie me down? Please?”

“Is that a good idea? You already seem kind of vulnerable this morning.”

“Please, Jamie.” He slid into my arms and kissed me, and it was a kiss full of hunger, full of need and desire.

My entire body responded to him, and I slid my hands down his back to his ass as I kissed him. He pushed his hardening cock against mine and rubbed against me, and I whispered, “Oh crap. I don’t have my handcuffs with me.”

He grinned a little. “I’m sure we can improvise.” He swung out of bed and jogged to his walk-in closet, returning a moment later with a handful of neckties. “It’s kind of clichéd, but it’ll do the job,” he said, still grinning.

I picked up a black silk tie and looked at him closely. But when I opened my mouth to ask if he really was ok and if this was a good idea, he put a finger on my lips and said, “Yes, I’m fine, and yes, we should do this.” He put his wrists together and held out his hands to me, then said, “Make sure it’s tight. You don’t want me to escape.” His eyes sparkled as he said that, his lips curved up in a sexy smile.

With a grin of my own, I wound the tie around his wrists as he laced his fingers together, then cinched them with a knot. “Too tight?” I asked.

“It could be a lot tighter.”

“Are you trying to get it to leave marks again?” The marks from the handcuffs had completely faded out.

He smiled at me. “Maybe. And like I said, I don’t want to be able to escape.”

I pulled the knot just a little tighter and said, “Will you be trying to escape?”

“God no.”

“Ok then.” I tugged on the tie, hoisting his arms up over his head as I pulled him onto his back on the mattress, then climbed on top of him and kissed him, my tongue tasting his willing mouth. I ran my free hand down the length of his body, pausing to cup his balls and squeeze them gently before taking hold of his cock and stroking it base to tip. He moaned against my lips and I gripped him harder and parted his legs with my thigh.

After a few minutes of this, I rolled off him to get the lube and a condom, and while I did that, he contemplated his solid, padded headboard. “Hmm,” he said. “Now how’s that gonna work?” He swung off the bed – quite gracefully for a man with his hands tied together – and looked around the room, then shot me a perfectly wicked smile. “Feel like trying something new, Jamie?”