All In (Firsts and Forever 2)

I shrugged and said lightly, “It’s good. The lunch shift has been pretty slow. But hey, beats the bug business.” For a few months, at the same time that I was dating Callie and thought I could force myself to be straight, I’d made the incredibly stupid decision to go to work for my Uncle Al’s exterminator business. It was all part of some grand, totally misguided plan to grow up and be responsible – wife, family business, eventually a house and kids, the whole stereotypical nine yards. I’d been such an idiot.

“Yeah, no doubt. So hey, want to have lunch some time?” she asked. “I’d really like to catch up.” Callie was taking the let’s-be-friends thing seriously.

“I’d like that. Text me with a time and place and I’ll be there. So,” I said, looking around the table, “what can I bring everyone to drink?” At least Tina and Gina would get to boss me around for an hour or so – that ought to be fun for them, I thought as I repressed a sigh.

Callie and her group lingered for a couple hours. Jamie and Dmitri pulled up chairs and joined them at some point, drinks and lunch and more drinks leaving all of them in a jovial mood. Their laughter and loud, happy conversation filled the dining room.

I’d known most of these people for years. Some of them even used to love me, either as a friend, or as much more than that. But now I felt like such an outsider as I waited on them.

Yes, I totally knew it was me that had damaged all these relationships. Me that had royally fucked up. But knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.

I felt incredibly alone.

It was beginning to seem like this lunch shift was never going to end, that Callie and company were never going to leave, that Jamie and Dmitri were never going to go back to work. But I was granted a brief reprieve when Cole asked me if I wanted to take a break and offered to watch my tables.

I retreated to the most private place I could think of: the storage room. I sat against the wall and hugged my knees to my chest and sort of curled into myself, making myself as small as possible. I only had a few minutes for my break, and I really needed to get myself together, psych myself up, so I’d be able to go back out there and stick a smile on my face and endure waiting on my former friends.

I was in there for probably sixty seconds before the door to the storage room opened and closed, and someone sat down right beside me. I didn’t have to look up to see who it was. I recognized his cologne.

“Really?” I muttered, not raising my head from my knees.

“Why don’t you join us, Charlie?” Dmitri said. “I know you must feel left out. Jamie’s already asked you twice to pull up a chair. Why don’t you take him up on it?”

I sighed and sat up, resting my head against the wall behind me, and took a look at Jamie’s husband. Dmitri was a stunningly beautiful man. He had perfect, luminous skin, and perfect jet black hair, and perfect clothes, and like, two percent body fat. Instead of answering his questions, I said instead, “I want so much to hate you.”

He smiled at that, revealing perfect teeth and a perfect set of perfect dimples. “No doubt,” he said. “So, how’s that going?”

“I’m failing at it. And I don’t really know why. Sheer jealousy alone should have made it incredibly easy to hate you.”

“Yeah, same here. I’m jealous of the history you two share. And I want to hate you for the way you dumped Jamie, for hurting him the way you did. But hey, if you’d never done that, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life. So instead, I find myself kind of grateful to you.”

I grinned a little. “This is the first time you and I have ever had a one-on-one conversation,” I said. “And we’re talking about how much we wish we could hate each other. That’s kind of bizarre, I suppose.”

“Well, hey, at least we’re talking.” Dmitri was studying me closely, tilting his head to the side like a puppy. “Do you not want to join Jamie and Jess and the gang because I’m with them? If you want some time with your friends without me around making you feel uncomfortable, I can go find something to do.”

“They’re not my friends anymore.”

“Really? I guess someone forgot to tell them that,” Dmitri said.

“Tina and Gina want to use me as a human speed bump.”

“Ok, maybe. But everyone else at that table would love it if you joined us.”

“Apart from you.”

“No, including me. I want us to get to know each other, Charlie. Not only because we’re working together, but because you’re always going to be a part of Jamie’s life, so I really want you and me to be ok with one another.”