Pretenders (Firsts and Forever 3)

He murmured, “This is amazing.”

Last up was a vintage utility truck. It was totally swathed in rainbow-striped bunting and topped by a fifteen-foot, papier-mâché dick. Apparently it had been built over some type of crane, because the huge cock rose up at a forty-five degree angle, then slowly pivoted toward Humpington.

Everyone in front of his house was staring in open-mouthed disbelief. Then a muffled boom went off, and a cascade of white streamers shot out of the tip of the dick. As the truck rolled away, Nana’s neighbor angrily untangled himself from a pile of crepe paper jizz, and River exclaimed, “Direct hit!”

“It seems the parade has reached its climax,” I joked, and everyone around me groaned.

As the spectacle rolled off into the distance, our group whooped and applauded. Then, as we all filtered back into the house, Wes asked, “So, is this typical for a get-together with your adopted family?”

“Our adopted family, and yes. Yes, it is.”

He nodded at that. “Good, I’m glad.”

As everyone who’d been in the parade joined the party by way of the back gate, Jasper found me in the crowd and said, “Best parade ever. I have to go work, but I’m glad I didn’t miss that.” His eyes were sparkling with amusement.

“Do you think you’ll be back later? I’m sure this party will keep going until the wee hours,” I said.

“I think so. This is a new client, and it’s dinner only,” Jasper told me. “He says he has some type of proposition for me. I’m intrigued.” Wes and I both hugged him and told him we’d see him soon.

A few minutes later, a microphone crackled, and then Nana’s voice rang out from surround-sound speakers. “I want to thank you all for coming,” she said. “I’m not gonna get sappy, but each and every one of you means the world to me. Now let’s celebrate! Ash Landry, where are you? Get your cute little ass up here, and get this party started!”

I turned to Wes and grabbed his hand. “Come on,” I said, “we’ve got work to do.”

I’d been by earlier in the day to set up my portable DJ booth, and I stepped behind the table and looped my headphones around my neck. When I pulled up a disco funk classic, most of the crowd started to dance, which made me happy.

Wes stood behind the table with me and called over the music, “How can I help?”

“By dancing with me!”

Both of us began moving to the beat. He probably thought he wasn’t really helping. But by dancing with me, he let me be a part of the celebration, instead of just standing on the sidelines and watching.

I looked out over the sea of familiar faces, at so many people I loved, and then I turned to Wes and draped my arms around his neck. When a huge smile spread across his face, I asked, “What are you thinking about?”

“When we get married, I want our reception to be exactly like this.”

“With half the people dressed as dicks?” I tilted my head toward the crowd, where the thirty or so band members, still wearing their tall, inflatable costumes, bobbed in the crowd.

He laughed at that, then said, “Well, obviously. Also, you really took me mentioning getting married in stride.”

“It’s inevitable,” I told him. “That’s just what you do when you want to spend forever with someone.”

“You’re right.”

He wrapped his hands around my waist, and as we danced together I looked up into his eyes. All these images flashed through my mind, like scenes from a movie—Wes and I just like this five years from now. And ten. And thirty.

I’d never been sure of anything before. But I was sure of us.

The End