“The first time I told anyone I was gay, I was sixteen and had just left home. She was an eighteen-year-old girl I met on the bus to San Francisco, and we just randomly struck up a conversation. I figured she was a safe person to tell, because if she ended up rejecting me it didn’t really matter. She was nice about it, though.”
He asked, “You never told your mom?”
“We didn’t have that type of relationship. One where we actually talked, I mean.”
As we cut through the living room, Gabriel glanced at me with sadness in his dark eyes. “I’m sorry, Riley. I should have known not to ask.”
“It’s fine. I made peace with it a long time ago.”
“Were you afraid of coming out to your friends because you thought they’d reject you?”
“I didn’t have any friends at that point. I was in a dark place when I was in high school, so I put up walls between myself and the rest of the world. Plus, I’d always planned on leaving as soon as I could manage it, so I never bothered trying to let anyone in.” We paused when we reached the open, modern kitchen, and I muttered, “Moving to San Francisco was supposed to be a fresh start, but I was so naïve. I thought I could just find a job and an apartment, and everything would be great. Talk about a harsh wake-up call.”
“It was like that for me too when I first moved there. I thought I was making all my dreams come true. Little did I know how hard it would be just to survive.”
It was obvious neither of us really felt like delving into the past right then, so we let the subject drop. After a moment, he handed me a couple of apples from a bowl on the counter and took two for himself. As he led the way to the door, I asked, “What’s with the fruit?”
“It’s a bribe. Give a horse an apple, and they adore you for life.”
When we got outside, we circled the resort’s two main buildings, which formed an ‘L’ around the courtyard, and soon reached the equestrian center. It consisted of a large stable, a pair of corrals, and a couple of smaller buildings, all of which were tidy and perfectly maintained.
There were two horses in the first corral we came to, and Gabriel climbed up on the wooden fence and called, “Hi Luna, you beautiful girl. Come on over here and say hello.” A gray horse with a white mane and tail actually did as he asked. He fed her an apple before stroking the white stripe in the center of her long face and cooing, “Look how pretty you are.”
I said, “I never knew you were such an animal lover.”
“I definitely am. Want to come over and say hello?”
“In a minute.”
An even larger brown horse had wandered over, and Gabriel fed him the other apple as he said, “Hi there, handsome.” Then he glanced at me over his shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about. They’re both sweethearts.”
“I’m sure they are. They’re also huge though, especially that brown one. I don’t know why I always assumed horses were smaller than that.”
“A lot of them are. Old Linus here is just statuesque, aren’t you, boy?” The horse nuzzled his hand, and Gabriel patted the side of the animal’s neck.
The last thing I wanted was to seem cowardly in front of Gabriel, so I pushed aside my worries and approached the corral. Linus lowered his head and watched me as his nostrils flared. I started to hold out the apple, and Gabriel said, “Keep your hand flat and offer it to him on your palm. He’d never bite you on purpose, but he might do it accidentally.”
I followed his instructions and stuck my hand and the apple into the corral, which immediately resulted in great big slobbery horse lips all over my palm. While the huge animal chomped on his treat, I wiped my hand on my jeans. Then I hesitantly touched the top of his nose, which turned out to be soft and velvety. He watched me closely as he allowed me to run my hand over his cheek.
I followed Gabriel’s lead and climbed onto the bottom rung of the wood fence, which put the horse and me at eye level. “He reminds me of a giant dog,” I said, “but he seems a lot mellower.”
While I was distracted by the conversation, Linus took the opportunity to pluck the second apple out of my hand. The gray horse seemed annoyed and tossed her head while he calmly chewed his stolen prize. I started laughing and said, “I really like this horse.”
“He’s definitely a character.” He stepped off the fence, then climbed through it and patted the horse’s neck. “Aren’t you, Linus?” Luna butted his shoulder with her nose, so he patted her, too.