Tempted - First & Forever Stories

“What’re you laughing at?”

Eden’s voice from the hallway startled me, and I turned and met his gaze. Talk about a fantasy come to life. He was six feet, four inches of muscular perfection, as handsome as a movie star. In high school, Eden had been the homecoming king and captain of both the football and basketball teams, all while maintaining straight-A’s. His girlfriend at the time had been just as gorgeous, and just as much of an overachiever. People used to call them Black Ken and Barbie, because they were so flawless.

I muttered, “Nothing. You know me, my mind was off somewhere.”

“You look great. Is that a new jacket?” When I nodded, he said, “I guess pizza delivery pays well.”

Ugh, it was so awkward lying to him. He’d never understand about being a sex worker though, not in a million years. As a police officer, there was no gray area for him when it came to the law. If something was illegal, I shouldn’t be doing it. Period. End of sentence. And then there was the morality of it—would he think what I was doing was “wrong,” in addition to being illegal? I didn’t know, and I really didn’t want to find out.

I went with a generic reply. “You get good tips when you’re friendly.” At least that was the truth, since it was a general statement and not actually about me.

“What’s with the messenger bag?”

Boy, he was full of questions tonight. I decided to answer that one honestly. “It contains lube, condoms, and a few toiletries. There’s also a clean T-shirt and a pair of shorts, in case I end up spending the night.” Even though I didn’t want Eden to know money was changing hands, I didn’t mind pointing out I was actually a full-grown adult with a sex life.

A hard-to-read expression played over his handsome features, and he fidgeted by running his palm over his very short hair. Maybe I’d made him uncomfortable with that much realness. After a moment, he murmured, “Oh. Well, it’s good you’re being safe. With the condoms, I mean. That’s important.”

“Always.”

Another pause stretched between us, and I came closer and searched his dark eyes. There was so much more to say. I wanted to explain that even though other men fucked me, it meant absolutely nothing. That was true both for my job, and for every random hookup I’d ever had. No matter what, my heart and soul only belonged to one man—who happened to be straight and would never, ever want me.

But of course, I didn’t say any of that. If he ever found out how I really felt about him, it would be a disaster. In fact, it would probably ruin our friendship, just from the total awkwardness of it all.

Finally, he said, “I guess I’ll see you in the morning, unless you end up needing a ride home. If so, call me and I’ll come get you.”

Okay, now that sounded suspiciously like something you’d say to a kid going to their first sleepover. I muttered, “Thanks, but I’ll just call a Lyft or a taxi.” Right after I said it, I realized I probably had a chip on my shoulder about the whole being treated like a kid thing, and I could have been nicer about that. I tried to make up for it with an awkward smile.

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Have a good night, Eden. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

We had to turn sideways so I could get around him, because the hallway was narrow and we were both big guys. As I slipped past him, he seemed to breathe me in. It felt surprisingly intimate, but then he said, “That’s a nice cologne.”

“Thanks.” I jogged down the stairs and made a quick detour to the family room, where Casey and George were watching TV. “Good night, guys,” I said. “See you in the morning.”

They both called good night, and George added, “Have fun,” as I headed for the door. Even at his age, he took the fact that I was gay totally in stride. I loved that about him.

When I reached the curb, I turned my face toward the breeze. It was early October, and there was a slight chill in the air. Actually, I doubted my first winter in California was going to get much colder than that.

I exhaled slowly and shook out my hands to release the tension while I waited for my ride. Meeting new clients always made me nervous. Even though I exchanged several messages with them beforehand, you never really knew what you were getting until you were face-to-face.

Sometimes I wished I could tell Casey and Eden what I did for a living, without having to worry about being judged. It would have been nice to talk about this stuff with them.

But that really wasn’t an option, so I was on my own.