“It means everything to me that you’re here.” He traced my forearm with his fingertip, and after a while, I said, “I hope you didn’t feel pressured to join in when we were at the river.”
“I didn’t. That was a choice I made, and it was something I should have done a long time ago. After Javier died, I was so angry at first, and I didn’t want to forgive him. I thought he didn’t deserve my forgiveness after cheating on me. But I’ve come to realize forgiving him is a gift to myself. I was the only one being hurt by carrying that pain and anger with me.”
I whispered, “It made me sad when you said you forgave him for leaving you alone.”
“His death brought up so many emotions in me. I know you’re not supposed to be mad at people for dying, but somewhere deep down, I was. It might be unfair and irrational, but that’s how I felt. It was one more thing I needed to let go of, because all that pain was rooting me in the past.”
“The symbolic gesture of throwing a stone obviously isn’t going to magically resolve all of this for you,” I said, “so I want you to know I’m willing to listen, anytime you want to talk about Javier or your relationship. He’s a part of who you are, just like this place is a part of who I am.”
“I appreciate it, and you’re right that this wasn’t a magic cure-all. But it was a step in the right direction, and that’s exactly what I needed.”
“I’m so glad it helped.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I settled into his embrace as he admitted, “I used to wonder if we were starting this relationship at the wrong time, just because we’re both in transition—your career is taking off, just as I’m finally learning to let go of the past and find my way forward. But now I realize our timing is perfect. We’re both beginning our second act, and we get to face whatever comes next together.”
There was something wonderfully reassuring about that.
* * *
We spent the next day helping my parents clean and organize their shop, and I repainted the red and white sign that hung above the door, which had faded over the years. Hopefully the improvements would help them take care of themselves a little better. I was worried about how long it’d be until I landed another acting job and could go back to sending money home on a regular schedule.
In the late afternoon, I stood behind the counter and admired the progress we’d made. Rows of tackle boxes had been dusted and nicely displayed, and colorful fishing lures hung from a new pegboard display. Across the shop, Lorenzo was washing the windows. My mom and dad had gone out to grab some pizza for dinner, and I was looking forward to seeing their reaction when they returned.
The little bell over the door jingled, and I frowned when I saw a familiar face. Jimmy Watts had been a grade ahead of me in school, and one of my many bullies. He was dumb and mean, both then and now, and when he saw me behind the register, he smirked and sauntered over.
“What a surprise. Not!” Apparently he thought it was 1992. I held his gaze steadily as he grinned at me and said, “I always knew you’d end up back here, Billy boy. You thought you were so much better than the rest of us, and that you were going to run off to Hollywood and end up rich and famous. But here you are, workin’ in your dad’s bait shop. Serves you right.”
“I never thought I was better than anyone, Jimmy. Just the opposite. I always felt like I was never good enough, but I still moved to Hollywood and tried my damnedest to reach my goals. That had nothing to do with you, or this town. It was just something I wanted for myself. But now, if you somehow think working in my family’s shop is a punishment, you couldn’t be more wrong. It’s a privilege to be here, helping my parents with a business they built from literally nothing.”
My gaze never wavered from his, and he fidgeted as he tried to think of a comeback. Then Lorenzo came over to us and crossed his big arms over his chest. He towered over Jimmy, and his tight T-shirt put every muscle on full display. His voice was low and menacing as he said, “Are you planning to buy something? We have a strict no loitering policy here at Smith’s Bait and Tackle, so if you’re not a customer, I’m going to have to throw your sorry ass out of here.”
Jimmy turned and scurried out the door. Once he was gone, I smiled at my boyfriend and said, “Thanks for backing me up.”