“Me too. But it is.” Derrick’s tone was tight and miserable as we approached my neighborhood. “However, maybe more talking isn’t what either of us needs.”
“I still want you to come up,” I said before he could offer again to not. “Let’s have tonight. We don’t need to talk.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Derrick
Not talking seemed like my best idea ever. There was a ton unsaid between us, but as we made our way to his apartment, holding hands and staying silent felt far better than the serious discussion we should have been having.
The apartment was blissfully empty, and it felt like a lifetime ago that he’d messaged about the roommates being gone. What had seemed like an opportunity for naughty fun now felt like a blessing because I was so not up for small talk. We didn’t even bother with the living room lights, heading right back to Arthur’s room, where he flipped on his low desk light rather than the harsh overhead. The soft glow was calming as he hugged me from behind, burying his face in my neck.
“Tighter,” I urged, pulling his arms snugger against me and leaning into the embrace. His hug in Oliver’s driveway had been so steadying, and that was exactly what I needed.
“Whatever you need.” He snaked a hand under my shirt to rest on my abs, and the warmth made me hum contentedly.
“Want to lie like this.” Shameless, I pulled up my shirt so his other hand could find skin too.
“Excellent idea.” Arthur tugged my shirt the rest of the way off before removing his own. Then by some wordless agreement, we both shed our pants. Naked, we curled up on his small bed, him behind me still.
“Good?” he asked as he held me close.
“Yeah.” Lying down like this, I could rest my head against his, our legs a happy tangle under his covers. Usually I felt taller and bigger and liked that contrast, but at that moment Arthur seemed stronger, and I was more than happy to wallow in that strength and let him squeeze me tighter. His arms flexed and his thighs tensed as he surrounded me with his warmth.
“It’s okay if this is what you need tonight,” he whispered after a while. Minutes or hours. I was no longer certain. “We don’t have to do anything else.”
I laughed then, a low rumble in the quiet room. The more his warmth seeped into my bones, the more other parts of me woke back up.
“I’m not ruling it out. Just taking our time.” I tipped my head back so we could kiss. It went without saying that we didn’t truly have time to take, but damn it, I was going to make time. I’d will the universe to give us this.
Our mouths met, a symphony better than anything Arthur’s genius brain could dream up. We kissed until my neck protested, and then he smoothly rolled us so he was on top and we could kiss even easier. He tasted sweet and familiar, and he knew exactly how to use his agile tongue to heat me up further.
I kissed him back with a desperation I hadn’t known I possessed, clinging to his shoulders and back as we kissed and kissed. Our hard cocks butted against each other, but that need wasn’t as urgent as the one to keep kissing, keep him close as possible. Eventually though, our bodies started moving on their own.
“Like this?” he asked, hand roaming down my side.
“Mmm.” I was tempted, but there was something I wanted more. “Would you want to fuck?”
“Sure.” Affable as ever, he rolled over to retrieve supplies from the nightstand.
“Do you want to top?” My pulse sped up. We hadn’t done it this way yet, but I craved it right then.
“Depends.” His face went serious. “Are you offering because you feel guilty about maybe leaving and think you should? Or because that’s what you need?”
“That’s what I need,” I whispered, admission not coming easily. It was always easier to focus on him than to articulate my own needs and wants. “I want it because it feels good and because nothing else gets me out of my head quite like being fucked. And because I want to be close to you, share that together.”
“I can’t guarantee I’m any good at it.” He gave a shaky laugh.
“I’ll talk you through it.” I pulled him close for another kiss. Being his first was another motivation, one that made sweet warmth spread throughout my torso. I liked being able to give him that first, to know that it was me, no matter what happened next.
But I wasn’t thinking about next, only this moment and this night with this guy. We kissed more hungrily now, hands more active, bodies surging.
“Tell me what to do,” he panted against my lips, stroking a hand down my torso. I was way too tightly wound for much of that, so I batted his hand away and reached for the lube.