“Ain’t that right.” His Southern drawl intensified when he was relaxed, and like every senior chief I’d had, he might joke about retirement, but he knew damn well he was an institution. “I’ve got a few more deployments in these old bones before y’all put me out to pasture.”
I laughed because I’d heard that a time or two. “I bet.”
“You let me know if y’all need anything, you hear?”
“I’ve got it on automatic, sir.” I had what my department needed to run smoothly. What I needed personally was way more of a question mark and not something the senior chief could provide for me.
* * *
“Your move.” Weiss, the grizzled chief across the narrow table from me, grinned as he slapped a card down.
We were playing a mindless game, too brain-dead from back-to-back long shifts for anything else. Hot sludgy coffee sloshed around in a half-full cup in my hand. A couple of weeks into my deployment now, I missed Arthur’s coffee-snob brew and the mismatched mugs at his apartment even more. Missed his narrow bed every time the snorer above me tossed and turned, and Arthur himself most of all. I tried not to think about him when on duty, but in quieter moments like this it was hard not to. Arthur was a better card player than Weiss, who while usually sharp had left me an opening for a quick trick and easy points.
“Nicely done. Wasn’t sure you were even paying attention at all.” Weiss was jovial enough, no censure in his voice as he considered the cards in his hand.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Happens to all of us. My brain keeps wandering too. It’s my oldest’s birthday today.” His voice took on a faraway tone.
“How old?” It went without saying that I was sorry he wasn’t there, and that was the type of sentiment we tried not to dwell on down here. It sucked to miss things, and we all knew it.
“Eleven today. My ex will make sure there’s a big party and lots of pictures. She’s great about details like that.”
“Good mom.” I nodded, waiting for him to finish his turn. “Did you leave a present?”
“Did I ever.” His smile went from wistful to bragging. “Tickets for when we’re back. Gonna take her and my younger one to LA. Do all the theme parks, and I scored passes to the birthday girl’s favorite tween comedy for a taping and tour. Big surprise for the kids and hopefully a nice break for my ex. She deserves it.”
“I’m sure. And I bet the kids will love the trip.” I smiled as I collected some more points by throwing down another pair.
“I hope so. Gotta give them some incentive to make it through this latest deployment.”
“Yeah.” My jaw tightened. Had I given Arthur any incentive? Use of my car hardly counted. Weiss was smart, giving his kids something concrete to look forward to. Myself, I’d been so sure that Arthur wouldn’t wait that I’d been hyper-focused on giving him an easy out. But should I have given him more of a reason to wait? He wasn’t a kid I could bribe with Disney, but I also hadn’t given him anything to pin his more adult hopes on.
“You doing okay?” Weiss asked, leaning forward. “I know you’d just finished one deployment. Back-to-back with a tight turnaround sucks. I’ve been there.”
“Yeah, it does.” I rolled my shoulders. “I’ll be glad to be home, that’s for sure.”
“Got someone waiting?” Weiss wasn’t a gossip, but I still hesitated, more out of my own mental muddle than any other reason.
“Sort of.” My mouth twisted. “It was still pretty new when I had to leave.”
“Ah.” He gave a crusty chuckle. “This life is hell on relationships, that’s for sure, and I have the alimony to prove it.”
“I bet.” I joined his laugh. “But it sounds like you got two great kids out of it.”
“Oh yeah.” He smiled more tenderly. “And a number of good years with their mom. Don’t regret that for a second.”
“That’s great.” I’d told Arthur I was happy with whatever we got together, but that wasn’t quite true. I wanted longer. Any finite block of time was never going to be enough, but had I prematurely tried to hasten the end rather than appreciating what we could have? With each passing day, I grew less and less sure.
“Will your ex bring the kids to the homecoming?” As it had worked out, I’d been assigned to this sub for the remainder of its deployment. I tried not to add up the total weeks in my head but at least it wasn’t measured in months.
“Hope so. Depends on if her new husband can get time off. He’s a firefighter down in Portland, but they usually try to drive up. How about you? This new person going to be there?”