“Will do,” Cadence says before turning her gaze to me. “Ready?”
“Love you, sis,” I say, not taking my eyes off Cadence.
“Love you too, big brother,” she says softly.
I follow Cadence out the door and to the one directly across the hall. As I hold our daughter in my arms and follow her into her apartment, I can’t help but think that this is my family. They’re my family.
My mind is a jumbled mess. I hope Cadence didn’t have plans tonight because we have a lot to talk about, I think, as I shut the door behind us.
Chapter 5
Cadence
Fumbling with the keys, my hands shake as I try to unlock my apartment door. The weight of his presence behind me is a reminder of what we’re about to face. What I’m about to face. The mistake of my past, not Hazel, and not him, but leaving him, is about to catch up with me.
“Take a deep breath,” he instructs as he places his hand on the small of my back. The heat from his skin seeping through my shirt isn’t at all unwelcome. After all this time, my body remembers his touch. The shiver that rolls over me is all the reminder I need.
Closing my eyes, I pull in a slow, deep breath and exhale in the same manner. Steeling my resolve, I open my eyes and manage to get the key in the door and turn the lock. Stepping inside, I hold the door open, allowing Hazel Eyes, who I now know as Trevin, to enter.
After shutting the door, I place Hazel’s diaper bag on the floor next to the couch. “I can take her,” I offer.
“No.” His voice is clipped, and Hazel whimpers in his arms. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he whispers, placing his lips on her head. “Daddy’s sorry.” His tone’s feather-soft as he speaks to our daughter.
My heart is thundering in my chest and feels as though it might explode at any moment. “I’m sorry,” I croak out my apology. I don’t know what else to say.
Standing in my small living room, I watch as he settles his tall frame on the couch, expertly holding our baby girl as if he’s done it a million times in her short life. Shuffling so that she’s lying in the crook of his arm, his eyes rake over her, almost as if he’s committing everything about her to memory.
I don’t move. My body is statue-still as I watch them together. It’s not until he glances up at me that I move to sit for fear my knees will give out, and I’ll end up a pile in the middle of the floor.
“Cadence,” he murmurs my name. “Why did you leave?”
There it is. The question I knew that I’d one day have to face. I just imagined it being our daughter asking, not her father.
“I—” I open my mouth to tell him I was saving him the trouble and decide he deserves my honesty. “I was scared.” I swallow hard, collecting my thoughts. Wiping my sweaty palms on my dress pants, I push forward. “You made me feel too much, too soon, and we were strangers. I told myself it was to save you time in the morning. We went into the night with our eyes wide open. I knew it was a fling. But with each passing minute, it felt less like a fling and more like… everything,” I confess.
“If you would have stayed—” He shakes his head, and I can hear not only the disappointment but the sadness in his voice. “I missed this,” he says, staring down at Hazel in his arms. “I missed you.” His voice is so soft I almost miss his confession. Lifting his head, his hazel eyes bore into mine. “I’m angry. I’m so fucking angry,” he says in a hushed tone. “But you’re not the only one to blame. I’ll own my part in this. I didn’t offer my name or get yours, even though I wanted to. In fact, I had planned to. The next day.”
“Oh, no.” I cover my mouth with my hand to prevent my sob from falling from my lips. Not that it matters. My shoulders shake on their own accord from my cries, and there is no hiding it.
“What’s her full name?” he asks.
“Hazel Marie Wade.”
“Cadence Wade,” he mumbles. I’m not even sure he realizes he’s said it. “I want her to have my last name.”
“Okay.”
His head pops up. “Just like that?”
“You’re her father.”
“I’m her father,” he agrees with a nod.
“Trevin, I’m sorry. I tried to get the hotel to give me your information, but they refused. It didn’t matter how much I begged and pleaded or how many tears I cried. They wouldn’t budge. I didn’t know what else to do. It was just the two of us that night. There was no one I could ask about who you were. My only choice was to move on.”