Every Other Memory

“Mom, I need you to remain calm and not scream or cry. You have to be quiet when I show you what I’m about to show you,” he says. I hear Hazel’s bedroom door open. His voice trails off, and that won’t do. I need to hear her response.

As quietly as possible, I open the bedroom door and sneak out into the hall and stand just outside Hazel’s door.

“Mom, I’d like for you to meet your granddaughter. Her name is Hazel.”

The sound of a female gasp hits my ears. “Trevin, explain that gorgeous little girl to me,” his mom says, her voice cracking.

“Cadence, that’s her mom. She and I met over a year ago. It was a night I’ll never forget, and it gave us Hazel.”

“Your dream girl?” she asks. My eyes widen at his mother’s knowledge of our night together.

“That’s her.”

“How did you find her? Does she know that you looked for her? Oh, honey,” his mom murmurs.

“I’m moving home, Ma,” he says. “I need to be here for my girls.” Butterflies take flight, and emotion clogs my throat. It’s as if it’s real now that he’s telling his mother.

“What about your job?”

“I’m going to call Grant Riggins on Monday and tell him. Maybe they have a spot here for me at the Indy location? I’m not sure, and right now, I can’t find it in me to care. I can’t walk away from them. I won’t.” There’s conviction in his voice that threatens to take my breath away.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and slide to the floor, burying my face in my hands. It’s too much. Too many emotions are running through me. Regret that I ran scared, happiness for my daughter who has a father who loves her and is willing to uproot his life to be with her, and then there is this flutter in my chest that’s always there when I think about him. The him from my past, and the him from the present. I feel this deep-rooted connection with him that scares the hell out of me. I’ve never had someone who stuck around. No one except for Shelby, and well, Thea if you count the last year.

My head jerks up when I feel his hand on my shoulder. Trevin is crouching in front of me, a look of worry on his handsome face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I smile, wiping at my cheeks.

“It’s something.”

“You’re really moving here?”

“Of course, I am. I told you that.”

“I know, but I—” I stop speaking. He doesn’t need me to lay my shit life on him right now.

“Come on.” He stands and offers me his hand. I take it and let him pull me to my feet. He leads us into my bedroom and motions for me to climb into bed. Too exhausted to argue, I do as he asks. “Now, tell me. Don’t hold back with me, Cadence. We know what happens when we do that. Nothing but truth between us from here on out. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I lost my parents when I was young. Well, my mom. I guess my dad was never around, at least that’s what I’ve read in my file. My mom was addicted to drugs. She overdosed when I was six. I went into the foster care system, and was bounced around from home to home. When I was about nine I landed with a family that stuck. They were good to me, but not overly loving. They made sure I had food, clean clothes that fit, and everything I needed, they were just emotionally detached. When I turned eighteen, they allowed me to stay with them until I could move into my college dorm and that was it. Shelby, my best friend, was my roommate my freshman year and we’ve been close ever since. She’s been my person until I met Thea when I moved here about a year ago.”

“I’m sorry,” he says softly.

“I don’t want you to be sorry for me. I just— To hear you say you’re staying and then tell your mom the same thing, it just kind of hit me that Hazel is going to have both parents. That you’re a man of your word, and that she’s not going to grow up like I did. She’s going to have two parents who love her, an aunt who she already adores, and grandparents,” I say, choking on the word. “She’s going to have a real family. Something I never had.”

“It’s not just her, Cadence. It’s you too. You’re her mother. My family is your family. You’re my family.” He leans in close and kisses the corner of my mouth. “I’m not letting you leave me again,” he says, pulling me into his arms.

We lie together, holding onto one another as his words filter through my mind. I know we need to start getting ready for the day, but I never want to leave his arms, or this apartment where, for the time being, he’s not just a memory, he’s all mine.