Since no one could see me, I let my eyes roam around the room, taking in every little detail. The couch was old, leather, and looked like someone’s cat had gotten to the arm of it at some point, but it looked crazy comfortable. The coffee table was one I recognized that Curt had made in woodshop in high school. There was a short bookshelf along the wall that was filled with paperbacks, but I couldn’t see what the titles were from where I was standing. On top of that shelf was a picture of Curtis and Draco at around thirteen. They were standing, bare chested, on each side of their mom, and all three were laughing.
I looked away. I remembered them at that age far too well. It was something I tried not to think about.
“You got what you wanted?” Curtis asked Draco as they came back down the hallway.
“Yeah,” he replied. “Wasn’t much here to begin with.”
My stomach twisted into a tight knot, and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to grimace. As the guys reached me, my eyes widened.
“Is that the ukulele that Amy got you when we were kids?” I asked Draco, blurting out the words without thinking. I hadn’t seen the thing since we were young. Suddenly, a million memories crashed down around me.
I couldn’t even hear Draco’s reply as I pictured him at eleven, his hair falling into his eyes. Then at thirteen, pushing a dirt bike helmet onto his shaved head. At fourteen, playing catch with Curt in his backyard, barefoot and wearing a pair of swim trunks. At fifteen, laying on the floor in the movie room, his head propped against the side of my bean bag chair. In every memory, I could feel the familiar shape of the ukulele in my hands. I’d played it far more than he had, and I was pretty sure the only reason he hadn’t given it to me was because he liked that it gave me an extra reason to come to him.
By the time I pulled myself together, Draco had finished talking and was looking at me curiously.
“Haven’t seen that thing in years,” I mumbled, turning toward the door. “Let’s go.”
As we walked back to my car, I dug my nails into my palms.
There was a reason I tried not to remember those memories. It was necessary.
“I’ll drive,” Draco said as he came up beside me. “Main road’s closed.”
“Fine,” I replied, forcing up every barrier in my mind that I could. I wasn’t going to argue about which one of us was driving as long as the trip was fast and I could get away from him as soon as possible. I couldn’t handle being around him this way, not when it was just the two of us. I needed the buffer of other people.
“You want me to follow you to her parents’ place?” Curt called out to Draco.
“Nah. I’ll let you know where I end up,” Draco replied, tossing Curt his keys, making Curt frown. “You can come get me if I need ya.”
I knew exactly what Curt was thinking and I couldn’t lie—a small part of me felt satisfaction at his worry.
As we reached my Jeep, I handed my keys to Draco and waited for him to get in and unlock the doors.
“I can’t believe you drive Rose’s old Jeep,” he said as I climbed in beside him.
“It was free,” I said, buckling up. “And it gets me from one place to the next.”
“Hey, I wasn’t making fun,” he said in amusement, adjusting the seat. I watched as he slid it back as far as it would go. He looked at me. “Just brings back a lot of memories, that’s all.”
I took a deep breath and imagined a vault door slamming shut in my mind.
“They gave it to me when I started driving,” I said, pulling my mask off. The car was marginally better air-wise, but even if we’d been outside, I would’ve taken the thing off. It was so hot outside, it made breathing through the mask feel like you were trying to exercise in a sauna. “Then they signed it over to me once I was eighteen.”
“Nice of them,” he said. “Your dad’s a good guy.”
“He said it wasn’t worth much in trade,” I replied, fidgeting a little as I tried to figure out what to do with my hands. We were leaving through the back entrance of the apartment complex and I couldn’t believe how eerie everything looked. “And Rose needed something bigger anyway.”
Draco scoffed good-naturedly. “Plus, your pop has always thought the sun shines out of your ass.”
“That’s a disturbing way of putting it.”
“He adores you,” Draco replied.
“Isn’t he supposed to?” I asked.
“Of course,” Draco said in surprise. He looked over at me. “I just meant that it’s easy to see how much he thinks of you. Always has been.”