Two weeks since I’d watched that tear slip from her eye and trail down her face before she wiped it away.
Two weeks since I’d realized I had fallen in love with her and acted like a coward because of it.
A knock on my office door startled me out of my thoughts.
Could it be Annalise? I doubted it.
“Roger?”
It was my brother’s voice, and I released the breath I’d been holding. “Come on in.”
The door opened, and Truitt walked in. He gave me a quick once-over and then shut the door. “Dad said you were in today.”
I nodded and pretended to be looking over a contract.
“Saryn wants to know if you’re free to join us for dinner tonight.”
With a forced smile, I shook my head. “I can’t tonight. I’ve got a bunch of contracts I need to look over for the city. They’re trying to purchase some land and turn it into a park.”
Truitt sat down in a leather chair on the other side of the desk. He looked around my office, which made me look.
There wasn’t anything special about this space. It housed my desk and two large leather chairs that sat opposite mine. To the left was a small conference table and a sofa. My degrees were in frames and hanging on the wall, along with a few personal photos that were placed around the office. That was my mother’s doing, not mine.
On the right side was a small bar cart, where I kept scotch, whiskey, and my father’s favorite gin. There was also a door that led to a private bathroom. Since the building housed my office, Truitt’s, and our father’s, we’d had a small gym put in. It was nice having it handy, and allowed me not to have to go to a public gym and work out. Truitt used to do so all the time before he married Saryn. My father hardly ever used it, so it was mainly my own personal gym now.
I had been hitting it up at least twice a day lately. If I wasn’t on the Peloton, I was lifting weights until I could hardly move. Anything to keep my mind off Annalise.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Truitt finally asked.
“Talk about what?”
He sighed. “Come on, man. Everyone can see how miserable you are, Roger.”
“I’m not miserable.”
He raised a single brow in question. “Really? How many times this week have you gotten shit-faced?”
I laughed. “What kind of question is that?”
“One that I think you’re afraid to answer.”
“Fuck you, Truitt. Not everyone wants the fairy tale life you have.”
He stared at me for a few moments before he leaned forward. “You know Kerri would have wanted you to be happy.”
Truitt might as well have reached across the desk and punched me in the chest.
“This…this has nothing to do with her.” I fought to keep the memory of Kerri’s last moments out of my head.
“Really?” he asked with a disbelieving laugh. “You say it, but do you believe it, Roger?”
Our eyes met, and I realized I was holding my breath.
“What happened between you and Annalise? For the near month you let her into your life, you were the happiest I had ever seen you. And it’s not just me who thinks that way. Saryn, Mom, Dad, we all saw it. Hell, even Lil saw it.”
I slammed my fist down on the desk. “You didn’t see shit because there was nothing to see! I had fun with her, things got too serious, and that was it. I’m not looking for that.”
“For what? Happiness? A woman to wake up to every morning and to kiss every night? Having someone in your life to share the ups and downs with? You act like you don’t care, but I see it on your face, in your eyes. Roger, you care about her. Why are you so afraid?”
I swallowed hard and looked away.
It only took Truitt a few moments before he said, “You love her, don’t you? That’s why you pushed her away.”
With a shake of my head, I said in a hoarse voice, “No, I don’t love her.”
He scoffed. “You always were a fucking terrible liar. For fuck’s sake, are you that afraid of opening up your heart that you’ll sit here and deny it and push her away in the process?”
I snapped my head back up to look at him. “I’m not denying anything. I don’t…I don’t…love her. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to be tied to one woman. If I want to go out tonight and pick up some random woman, I can. I like my life, Truitt.”
He leaned back and crossed his arms. “So, how many women have you been with since Annalise came into your life?”
I couldn’t look him directly in the eyes and lie again. The last lie nearly took everything out of me.