“Gian,” Gemma pleads.
I stand slowly. “I won’t hurt her.” I tell him. “But I suggest you start letting her make her own decisions. She’s an adult.”
His gaze leaves mine for a moment to assess Gemma.
“Don’t make me regret this.” He extends his hand for me to shake and I do. The truce is as good as done, a h
andshake in this life is as good as a signature.
‘So.” Giuseppe claps his hands together. “Are we going to talk about a wedding now?”
Gemma lays a blanket down on the white sand at Sachuest beach. She sits down, the skirt of her sundress splaying out around her legs. A smile dances on her lips when she looks up to me, her black hair flying with the wind.
“Freedom,” she sing-songs. “Look at us, out in public together.”
“I think I liked you better in the hotel rooms though.” I smirk.
She snorts a laugh. “You just like me naked.”
“That too.” I’ll take Gemma any way I can get her; naked, clothed, and anything in between.
Her head tips back and laughter escapes her lips as I settle down next to her on the towel. The hot summer heat washes over us, sinking into our skin. I’m melting underneath it with my legs covered in denim, but I’m not about to tell her that. Not when she looks so damn happy.
“We’ll have lots of time for that,” she says. “We don’t have to sneak around anymore, we can just live.”
I lean back, looking out to the water. A year ago I was looking out to the river when I got the call she was in my bar. I wanted to kill myself that night, end it all.
I look over at her, a smile spreads across her face. She’s happy and she’s mine.
I would have never guessed how much would change in a year. That call, her being in my bar might have saved my life. And with it came a lot of pain, too much darkness, but also her.
“Gemma.” I reach into my pocket, pulling out the ring I’ve been holding on to. “I want to ask you something.” She sees the box, and the look on my face and she knows what’s coming. She pulls herself onto her knees, staring at me, waiting for me to say the words.
“We’ve been through a lot. So much has changed since I’ve known you. You’ve changed me, forced me to grow up, to be better. I like the person I am when I’m with you. I like the man I am for you better than any other version of me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be with you every second of every day. I want to wake up next to you, fall asleep beside you. I want to give you everything your heart desires. Gemma Antoinette DelGado, I fucking love you, and I want you to marry me.”
She meets my gaze with her glassy brown eyes. “Liam,” she coos. “Of course, yes.”
I open the velvet box, pulling out the three carat round diamond on a simple gold band. It’s a large rock, one that signifies her as being mine. I slide the ring onto her finger and let her admire it.
“I love it.” She tells me, a smile lighting up her face. “I love you.”
Five Years Later
THE GHOSTS STILL HAUNT ME. They find me in moments where I least expect them.
Like when I look down at my sleeping baby and think, damn, my mother will never be able to hold him.
Like at my wedding, when I looked out and didn’t see her face in the crowd.
My need to push the ghosts down with drugs and alcohol has passed, mostly. I still look at the bottle of red wine and think what I wouldn’t do to swallow every last drop. But now, I’m stronger. I think of my husband and my son and realize I don’t want to be numb, because I don’t want to miss a second of them.
Give me all the emotions. The anger, the hate, and the sadness. Emotions make life real, even the bad ones. Without them I don’t fully appreciate the joy in my heart when my son laughs. I don’t fully feel the love when Liam kisses me.
And I need those feelings.
The love, my God, how the love drives me now. I live for the feeling of light kisses on the back of my neck and soft giggles coming from the little boy at my feet.
I would kill for these two, a feeling I thought I knew but didn’t before them.