My little girl is going to be five.
Gabriella Maria DelGado.
I’m crying as I hang the decorations for her party. I can’t help it. It’s weird to think that five years ago I didn’t have her. She came to be when I needed her the most, when I felt abandoned with my now husband in jail. She came to me at the perfect time.
Her grandfather was not thrilled that I was pregnant before Gio and I got married, but it didn’t matter. He was, however, thrilled to finally have a grand baby. He spent my entire pregnancy with me, taking care of me. After Gabriella was born, he spent far too much time at our house. He never wanted to miss a moment with her.
We got married right after her birth,
It was the perfect day, just my baby, my husband, and me.
“Mama,” I look down at my second baby, Guiliana Grace, tugging on the bottom of my pants. She’s three and her favorite word is mama, it’s all she says. She yells it, even if her father is right next to her and can easily help it’s me she yells for. Secretly, I love it.
I love how much my babies love me, my two little girls.
They take after Gio though, with their dark hair and warm complexion. Guiliana, Gigi as we call her, has my eyes though, ocean blue.
“Mama!” Gabriella yells my name now. “It’s beautiful!” She runs out the sliding glass door and into the back yard, spinning around in the grass as she takes in her party decor.
She asked for a “sunflower theme” and I didn’t disappoint. Our backyard was now filled with sunflowers, both real ones in vases and paper ones I stayed up creating.
She smiles brightly as she spins in circles. Gigi skips out to meet her sister. Gigi is obsessed with Gabriella, she copies everything her big sister does.
“Mama,” My husband comes through the doors next. We’ve gotten into the habit of calling each other Mama and Papa in front of the girls, I wonder if this is a weird thing all parents do or if it’s just us? I abandon the paper sunflower I’m hanging to go to him. “Why are you crying?” he asks, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“She’s five.” I croon.
He smiles at me. My crying over small milestones is not a new thing. Are all mothers emotional? “She’s getting so big!” I add. “I’m afraid one day she won’t love me this much.”
This makes him chuckle. “Oh, baby. She’s always going to love you. You’re her mama.”
I hope he’s right.
“Your brother’s here.” He whispers.
I look away from my husband to find my brother standing in the back doorway of the house we’ve lived in together for the past five years. The one he bought for us while he was still in jail.
“Banana.” He smiles.
He looks good, he’s put on some weight, not a ton but enough to make him look healthy. His eyes are brighter and he’s been drug and alcohol free since before Gabriella’s birth. Over five years of him being sober and I find myself being thankful for it every day. My brother is back, something I wasn’t sure would ever happen.
He’s been a better brother this way, and an amazing uncle.
“Uncle Johnny!” Gabriella shouts, running towards him.
“Nini!” Gigi shouts, still unable to say Johnny.
Gabriella makes it to his grasp first, he lifts her up and tosses her eliciting squeals from her. Gigi runs quicker, hoping to get the same kind of attention.
Gio wraps his arms around me tighter.
“I love you Annie Grace DelGado.” He whispers into my neck.
“I love you too.”
This life, this crazy wild ride of a life is mine. And it’s beautiful.