Chapter One
1972 – St. Louis, Missouri
Another labor pain rolled through Maude Kincaid. She gritted her teeth and fisted the sheets of the hospital bed, trying to ride out the extreme pain. Her entire body seemed about to explode.
“Push,” the doctor said.
Staring up at the fluorescent lights above them, she took a deep breath and pushed as hard as she could. “Ohhh.”
“Good, Maude,” he said. “I can see the head. I need for you to do that again. Push.”
She’d never felt such pain in her life before.
“Almost there. Just one more, young lady. Push as hard as you can. And we should have a brand-new baby.”
She pushed with all the strength that was left inside her. The pain was overwhelming, and then all her suffering seemed to vanish. Drenched in sweat, the next thing she heard was crying.
Totally exhausted, she lifted her head off the pillow. “Is the baby okay?”
“They’re supposed to cry,” the doctor said. “This is a healthy baby girl.”
“Thank God.” She closed her eyes and felt tears stream down her face. Her whole life had been turned upside down since that awful night the child had been conceived. The resentment she’d felt for the baby seemed to be fading quickly. She didn’t understand why, but thought it might be because of how drained she was from being in labor for ten hours.
As the doctor and nurses continued working around her to make sure she and her baby were cared for, Maude leaned her head back on the pillow. Tomorrow she would be going home with her parents. She couldn’t wait to see her sister, Mary. God, how she’d missed her through this entire nightmare.
“When may I hold the baby?” She knew it was a strange request, especially since she had already agreed to give the baby up for adoption. But deep inside her, she needed to touch the one person who had been with her, night and day, for the past nine months. Her daughter had been the only constant in her life. Now, she had to see her, to hold her—to say good-bye.
“As soon as I get her cleaned up,” the nurse answered.
“Please hurry. I want to see her.” Thinking about the papers her parents had given her that she’d signed earlier, she shuddered. At least I have three days to change my mind.
When the nurse laid her daughter in her arms, Maude wept.
Smiling, the nurse said, “She’s twenty inches long. Seven pounds, two ounces. And very, very healthy.”
The little girl was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She counted all her fingers and toes. Ten each, thank God. So tiny.
I can never give her up. Not now. Not ever.
“Okay, Maude,” the nurse said. “I need to take the baby to the nursery and get you to your room for some much-needed rest.”
“When will I get to see her again?”
“We like to observe our new arrivals for a while, but you’ll be sure to get to see her today.”
After one of the nurses took her daughter away, an orderly rolled Maude in the bed to her hospital room. Moments later, her parents arrived.
“How are you feeling?” her father asked.
“Have you seen the baby?” She smiled. “She’s so beautiful.”
“Of course we haven’t seen the baby, Maude,” her mother said flatly. “Since she will not be a part of our lives, there is no need.”
Her parents were wealthy and used to getting their way. Keeping up appearances was crucial in their minds. They’d shipped her off to a home for unwed mothers to avoid the shame of her pregnancy. It was clear to Maude that their law firm was the most important thing to them, not her and Mary, their two daughters.
I have to convince them to let me keep my daughter. I must. “I cannot give her up, Mother. She’s mine.”
Her mother shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’ve been over this time and again. You’re too young. You do not want to ruin your life and hers. Besides, you don’t want to be reminded of what happened to you every time you look at that baby.”
She closed her eyes, trying to push away the memory of that horrific night.
“Maude, you’ve already signed the papers that your dad and I prepared. It’s done.”
“I did, but I also read the part where I have three days to change my mind. I want to keep my parental rights. Period.”
“Don’t you dare give us an ultimatum, young lady. We’ve bent over backward for you. The adoption agency is one of the best in the country. They will make sure the baby is placed in a home with two parents who can care for her. And quite frankly, your father and I are not old enough to be grandparents.” Her mother’s pride never waned. “We’ve done our best to keep this embarrassment from ruining your life.”
“By sending me away when you learned I was pregnant? By not even telling my own sister what was really going on? By making me give up my daughter?”
“She’s not your daughter, Maude,” her father leaned forward. “This is for the best. For you and for the baby.”
“I think you mean for you and mother. I don’t care what you say. I’m keeping her.”
He frowned. “You’re too young to raise a child. You’re only sixteen. You’re still a child yourself. Where will you get the money to take care of this baby?”
“I’ll get a job.”
“Doing what?” he asked. “You haven’t finished high school yet, let alone college.”
“I can wait tables or work as a secretary. It may be hard, but my daughter is worth it.” She looked at the door, praying the nurse would bring her baby to her. “I’ll do what I have to do, but I won’t give her up.”
“Who is supposed to take care of the infant while you’re working? I’m certainly not.” Her mother’s unblinking eyes made her tremble. “You are our daughter and you will do as we say. That’s final.”
She felt the tears roll down her cheeks. How could she take care of her daughter without their help? She needed them to understand how important this baby was.
“Please don’t make me give her up. They are going to bring her to me later. Stay and see your granddaughter. I’m sure that once you get a good look at her you’ll have a change of heart. I know you will.” The panic inside her shook her to her core. “Please. Please. I beg you. I held her in my arms. Once you do the same you won’t be able to let her go either.”
“You held the baby?” Her father’s eyes widened. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.” He turned to her mother. “We spent a lot of money for her to be here. They need to follow our instructions to the letter.”
Her mother nodded. “I agree.”
Her father grabbed Maude’s hand and squeezed it. “No wonder you’re confused, child. I’ll take care of this. There is no sense in putting you through any more pain than you’ve already had.”
He walked out of the room.
“What’s he going to do, Mother?”
“He’s going to make sure you don’t have to see that baby again.”
She sat up. “But I want to see her. She’s mine.”
“No, Maude. This nightmare is finally over. Get some rest. We’ll be leaving for home soon. Your sister is going to be so excited to see you.”