Sitting in Austin’s dining room, Jessie sipped on the herbal tea like an automaton. She didn’t really taste it, merely lifted it over and over to her mouth. She was completely wrung out, every muscle and nerve dull. Like her soul.
Her hair was still damp from the bath Austin had given her. Wrapped in his white robe, she loved the feel and smell of his scent. It was the only thing that kept her grounded.
Lee Carpenter, her biological father, had just left, along with the sheriff. She’d recounted every moment of her time in the mine. She’d forced herself to say the words, pushing them out of her mouth, hoping that when she’d told the story she could be done with it. The case that had brought her to Wilde for the agency was now closed, as were the murders the sheriff had been investigating.
Though Lee had asked her to return to the agency, she’d declined. Je
ssie wasn’t sure what she wanted to do next career wise, but her old job didn’t hold any interest to her now. Facing death between the eyes and coming out alive on the other end had changed her. She wasn’t the same woman who had walked into Wilde. And it wasn’t just the tragedy that had changed her. The Wilde brothers had changed her forever.
Austin walked in with a plate of crackers, cheese, and fruit.
“Seriously, cowboy, I can’t eat. The tea is enough for now.” The brothers had taken her to Austin’s place after the mine explosion. The doctor had made a house call. Once again, he’d given her a clean bill of health, announcing to the five worried cowboys that she was tough as nails.
I sure don’t feel tough. She was glad that the nightmare was finally over.
“Okay, pet, but Phoenix went to quite a lot of trouble to put this together for you. He’s going to be disappointed you didn’t taste it.”
Jessie felt her shoulders sag. Even with the crazy bitch, Samantha, dead, she still had one other worry. Though not life threatening, she knew it was certainly awful enough that her heart would never survive.
She couldn’t handle another moment with Austin’s demand over her head. She looked directly into Austin’s eyes. His demand for her to make the impossible choice had not been resolved. It never could be.
I just want to get this over with. I can’t bear much more. “Where are your brothers?”
“They’re all outside.” He sat the plate of food down. “I asked them to give us a moment together.”
Her heart hurt. Maybe it had been better to be numb. At least when her heart was numb it hadn’t felt like an aching chasm in her chest. “Austin, I just can’t make—”
“Shh. Before you say more, let me talk.” His voice was deep but without the familiar edge. It was gentler than she’d ever heard it before.
Jessie braced herself for another round of his arguments of why she should choose him. He’d pulled her from the mine and saved her life. He deserved her ear one last time. “Okay.”
“Stand up, pet.” The hot cowboy that had captured her heart cupped her chin.
“Yes, Master.” God, how can I leave him? Dread and sadness rolled through her body.
When she was fully on her feet, Austin leaned down and kissed her. For a moment, nothing else mattered. The world stopped turning, and her insides warmed up. Our last kiss. I’ll never forget it. Jessie began to sob into his mouth, unable to hold back her pain of having to leave him and his brothers.
Austin released her lips. “Jessie, don’t cry.”
“I–I...can’t help it. Master, I just can’t choose.”
He pulled her close, and she melted into him. “I know, pet.”
“I love Jackson. I love Phoenix. I love Dallas. I love Denver.” Her entire body began to shake as she sobbed.
He squeezed her tight. “That’s what I want to tell you, pet. You don’t have to choose. I won’t make you.”
“I love your brothers, but I love you, too, Austin.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t live without you either.”
Austin’s eyes were warmer than she could ever remember. “I love you, too, sweetheart. I’ve been a fool my whole life. You made me see that.”
She blinked back her tears and looked into his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“When I was tied to the tree all those years ago, I felt I had no control.” His gaze didn’t falter, but she could see the ancient pain he held in his dark orbs.
“You were only a child.” Jessie reached up and touched the line of his jaw. “It had to be terrifying.”
“It was. But as the hours passed, I made a promise to myself to never give my power over to anyone, no matter what. That included my brothers. I let one single instant rule over everything my parents had taught me. I let that moment in time be more important than the love I received from my family.” His voice remained steady but very quiet.