Mastered by Mavericks (Doms of Destiny, Colorado 3)
Page 62
Sawyer shrugged. “We’ll find out. We are going to Chicago. The Stones will give us the time off. They understand love’s price.”
“Yes, they do.” Reed thought about Amber and how much she’d changed the Stone brothers’ lives just like Nicole had for him.
Sawyer’s eyes narrowed. “Do you understand love’s price?”
Love’s price? “What do you mean by that?”
“You think I don’t see what Nicole sees. You’re holding back, Reed. She asked you to spank her last night and you refused.”
Reed’s jaw tightened. “I didn’t refuse. I knew we needed sleep.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I know you. Talk to me.”
Sawyer and Erica were the only people he’d let himself trust and love after the crash. Until Nicole.
His brother deserved to know the ugly truth. “I just can’t. I enjoyed training subs with you. I’ve always prided myself in being a great Dom. You know why? Because I kept myself detached. The scene was the important thing to me.”
“You didn’t care about the women we shared?”
“As sub students? Yes. More than that? No. I’m not sure I can be a good Dom with Nicole.” The truth. Tell him the truth. “I love her. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love her. How can I show Nicole the life if I can’t control my emotions around her? I never thought I would choose a vanilla existence, but for her I will.”
“What a fucking load of crap.” Sawyer’s face was hot. “Your choice isn’t for her, Reed. It’s for you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He didn’t like where this conversation was going. Not one fucking bit.
“She wants to try BDSM. She’s told us that again and again and you’ve pushed her away.”
He grabbed the doorknob, needing an escape from Sawyer, who was getting dangerously close to something he didn’t want to face.
“Get a grip on yourself, Reed. And your new emotions. It’s time for you to embrace your inner Dom.”
“I can’t, damn it.” He’d never felt so raw, so exposed before. But he had to let it out, had to make Sawyer understand. “If I could, don’t you think I would have already? Nicole matters to me. I can’t be a Dom with her. You’ve got to see that, bro.”
“You want to know how a real Dom feels? They feel so much it would crush most, but they care more for their sub than themselves. Goddamn it, Reed, be a Dom. You’re a fucking selfish idiot and we’re going to lose Nicole if you don’t open up to her.”
Lose Nicole? No way. He wasn’t losing her. She was his. Theirs. The love of his life. Sawyer was right. He had
been an idiot. Nicole had told him her darkest secret and deepest fear. And what had he done? Crawled back into his shell.
With all his heart Reed wanted a life, a future, a family with her and Sawyer.
Time to Dom up.
“Let’s go get our Chicago.”
* * * *
With her heart ripped to shreds, Nicole walked with Jaris out of the sheriff’s office and onto the sidewalk that ran up and down East Street.
“Nicky, are you okay?” Jaris asked.
“No, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You love them, don’t you? Those two cowboys back there.”
She nodded, leading the way across East to go down the park side of North Street. “Crazy, huh?”
“Not a traditional life but not a crazy one either. The sheriff here isn’t half bad. He brought me dinner last night. He filled me in on what sets Destiny apart from other places. Why not choose love? You’ve been through so much, Nicky. You deserve a chance at a better life, don’t you?”