“Jena, I don’t know what to think of this.” The truth. Again. The back of her neck tingled, a sign it was far past time to make an exit.
“I’m sure it is a great shock, but believe me, you are not alone anymore.”
Not alone? That didn’t seem possible. Not for her. Not after everything that had happened.
Stiffening, she asked Jena, “What does Matt want? Why did he send you and not come himself?”
“Long before I met Matt, he held on to the hope that you might have escaped the fire. But after years of searching for you himself, he finally gave up. I love him, Carrie. He’s such a wonderful man. That’s why I picked up where he left off. I didn’t want to break his heart if I couldn’t find you. But somewhere deep inside me I knew you were alive.”
“How can you know I’m the Carrie you are looking for?”
“The resemblance alone is unbelievable. Do you realize that you and Matt have identical eyes, hair color, even your smiles are the same?”
Gazing back at the photo, she did recognize the similarities between her and Matt. Could she trust Jena? Could this man really be her brother? She had nothing to lose, but was that her real concern?
“If Matt is my brother, Jena, the best thing to happen would be for him to stay as far away from me as possible. It would be completely selfish of me to just drop into his life. You’re his wife. You’re a family.”
“We are, Carrie. And you are part of that family.”
Clinging to false hope was something she couldn’t afford despite how much she wanted to. Survival, that was all she could focus on. “I have too much baggage, too much darkness. I can’t meet him. It wouldn’t be right. And I still think you’re wrong.” She shook her head and pushed the photo back across the table to Jena. “I’m not Matt’s sister.”
“But you are, Carrie.” Jena held up the picture. Those eyes. What if they are my brother’s? “I have no doubt about that.” Jena’s voice lowered and sadness washed over her face. “I have my own dark past. I’m not sure
what you are running from, Carrie, but I know you are on the run. I’ve been there myself. Aren’t you tired of running? Please just let me help you.”
Something that hadn’t happened in a very long time shocked Carrie. She felt tears welling in her eyes. “Jena, I really want to believe you, but you don’t understand. No one does.”
“Then help me understand. No matter what has happened to you or whom you are afraid of, I will help you. Matt will help you, too.” Jena handed her the photo once again, reinforcing her point. “You don’t have to face your demons alone any longer.”
She stared down at the face. A thought broke the surface of her consciousness. She was in a swing, her tiny three-year old legs dangling. Her brother pushed her.
“Higher, Matt. Please.”
The memory faded. Her hands trembled. She had so few memories. This was a new one. No. It was an old one that had been trapped inside her mind. But now it was out. Free. Something she could recall again and again. My brother’s name is Matt. The photo must’ve triggered the memory.
“How did you find me?”
“I knew what rocks to look under. I’m skilled in cyber detection. You’ve left a digital trail that I was able to follow.” Jena sighed. “Carrie, I know you are Matt’s sister. But I can tell you’re still uneasy with me. If I were in your shoes, I would be uneasy, too. There’s one foolproof way to find out. We could do a DNA test.”
“A DNA test? I’ve heard that could take days or even weeks to get the results.” I can’t stay long. In fact, I need to leave as soon as possible. She’d already decided on her next stop two weeks earlier—Philadelphia.
“I have some connections that will speed the results. We can have them by tomorrow. Don’t you want to know for certain if Matt is or isn’t your brother?”
“Of course I want to know, but I’m so afraid.”
What if the DNA test proved the Matt in the photo was her brother? What then? Go to meet him? But what would he think of her if he knew everything that had happened since the fire? And what if Jena’s Matt was not her brother? Then she’d be back in the same situation. No, not the same. An even worse situation feeling more lost than ever.
Jena once again reached across the table for her hands, but this time she didn’t pull back, longing for everything Jena believed to be true. “Carrie, trust me. Give me just one day. That’s all I’m asking.”
Against her better judgment, she said, “I’ll do the DNA test. I really need to know the truth.”
* * * *
Sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jena in the hotel room, Carrie watched her open the envelope with the test results.
No turning back now.
She’d thought about hitting the road for Philadelphia last night after leaving the diner, but she’d promised to follow Jena to her hotel, and a promise was a promise. Even after saying good-night to Jena and heading to her apartment, she’d considered not returning. Better to pack and get on the highway, never to look back. Why open up Pandora’s box on her past? What good could come of it? Were there reasons her mind had locked away her memories for so long? Reasons that were darker than she could imagine?