“Me either.” As hard as she’d tried to keep her tears from falling, they rolled down her cheeks as her familiar remorse consumed her. “But how can you forgive me so easily?”
Matt put his arms around her. “Forgive you? What do I have to forgive you for?”
She choked out the awful truth. “For killing our parents.”
“What are you talking about, Carrie? You didn’t kill anybody.”
He doesn’t know. “I started the fire. I was playing with matches.”
“Who told you that lie?” Sean asked.
“Brother Willie told me everything. He told me that our parents didn’t love me so I set the fire on purpose.”
“That bastard,” Matt growled. “He lied to you, Carrie, like he lied to everyone, including our parents. That’s not what happened at all.”
“It’s not? He’s told me that my whole life.” Realization rolled through her that Willie had been twisting the truth to manipulate her. “But he also always told me you didn’t even exist, that you were a figment of my imagination. I never believed him about that. I knew in my heart you were real, Matt.”
“I am real. And so are you.”
Sean looked her in the eyes. “You didn’t kill your parents or mine. Willie did.”
Jena came up beside her and took her hand. “I can’t imagine what kind of life you had to live with that monster.”
“Where is Willie?” Matt said. “I want to get my hands on him.”
“I don’t know. It’s been thirteen years since I’ve seen him. I ran away from him after so many beatings when I turned sixteen. He always said he was preparing me to be his wife.”
“I will kill that bastard if I ever see him again.” Matt’s tone left no doubt that he meant it. He pulled her in even tighter. “I’m so sorry, but there are no words to tell you how I really feel.”
For the very first time in her life, she felt surrounded by people who truly cared for her and wanted to protect her. More tears—cleansing tears—fell, washing away the false guilt that Willie had planted in her mind.
“What really did happen?” she asked them.
“Willie was the leader of a cult in Belco, Mississippi,” Sean told her. “I was born in the commune. My parents were with the asshole from the very beginning.”
“Our parents came later,” Matt said. “Two years before the FBI came.”
“FBI? Why did they come?”
“Willie had been stockpiling weapons and was warned to stop. But he didn’t. He claimed to be the embodiment of God on earth. As kids, we had to kneel to him whenever he came in the room.”
“He always made me do the same whenever we were at home alone,” she told them.
“Motherfucker.” Matt’s face darkened.
“Honey, it’s not your fault,” Jena said, touching him. “It’s Willie’s.”
Matt sighed, his eyes full of pain, something Carrie knew more about than she cared to. “You were only three.”
Sean squeezed Matt’s shoulder. “The FBI came. Willie ordered the adults to start firing on them. Everyone, including our parents, were so brainwashed by that bastard they would do anything he said. Carrie, Matt and I always thought we were the only survivors besides Willie. When the shooting started, we ran into his office.”
Even though Sean kept his tone soft and his voice steady, Carrie could see in his gray eyes a deep, abiding pain.
“They were only five when the fire happened,” Jena said, obviously having heard the horrific story before.
“The asshole was gone,” Sean added. “At first, we thought he’d vanished back into heaven. The damn lying fucker had brainwashed all of us. As the smoke got thicker and thicker, Matt found the trap door to a secret tunnel. That’s where we knew Willie had escaped.”
Matt closed his eyes. “I couldn’t find you, Carrie. I looked but you were nowhere to be found. I had no idea that monster took you with him through the trap door.”