Absolution (The Protectors 1)

I’d managed to get a hold of the arm Jonas had hit me with but in his terror, I couldn’t prevent him from kicking at me as his other fist struck me in the head. I heard the door to the room crash open and then light flooded the room. I looked over my shoulder to see Mace standing in the doorway and then he was moving. I was sure he was going to rip me off of Jonas thinking I was the one responsible for his screams, but instead he went around the bed to Jonas’s side and gently grabbed his flailing arm.

“Jonas,” he called out.

Jonas’s eyes snapped open and he looked wildly around until he settled them first on Mace and then on me. Awareness returned to him and then he closed his eyes and began to cry. He tugged his arm free of Mace’s hold, but instead of turning away from me, he rolled against my chest and wrapped his arms around me as sob after sob rattled through him. I laid back on the bed and held him as I whispered soothing words against his head and stroked his back. I spared Mace a glance who was watching us with such a pained expression that I wanted to reach out to him too. Mace took several steps back from the bed but instead of leaving, he turned the lights off and then sat down in a chair in the corner and watched us. I remembered his comment about having to watch Jonas do this night after night and some of my anger towards Mace receded a little. And was replaced with guilt.

What if what Mace had said was right? What if I had caused this by making Jonas relive Carrie’s murder and subsequently his own past?

“Don’t,” I heard Mace say so softly I barely heard him. I looked over at him. “Don’t put this on yourself,” he said quietly. “This is on me. Just me.”

I didn’t know what to say to that but I knew he was wrong. Because we’d both done this. And come tomorrow, Mace and I were going to figure out how the hell to fix it.

Together.

Chapter Fourteen

Jonas

When I heard the bedroom door open, I closed my eyes in the childish hope that my visitor would think I was asleep and leave me alone. I hadn’t been – not in any of the endless hours since I’d woken up to find myself pressed against Cole’s chest, my lips just a breath away from his nipple and my arm wrapped around his waist. The room had been dark, but I’d been able to tell by his even breathing that he was asleep and I’d carefully extricated myself from his hold so I could escape his touch. I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what Cole’s role in all of this had been, but it hadn’t mattered because in that moment, I couldn’t stand his touch. My skin felt like something was trying to crawl out from beneath it and even the soft comforter had made me want to scream in agony. But I’d known pretty much right away that I was naked beneath the stifling blanket so I’d had no choice but to leave it on.

I’d rolled away from Cole but had felt my heart stop at the sight of Mace sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. Even without light, I’d known he was awake and watching me. I’d felt the bile creeping up the back of my throat as he’d watched me and I’d had no choice but to bury my face in the too soft pillow beneath my head in the hopes of quelling the nausea that rolled through me. A moment later the bedroom door had softly shut but it had taken me several moments to garner enough courage to open my eyes to see that Mace had indeed left.

I’d felt Cole leave the bed a couple of hours later as light started to filter through the curtains but I didn’t move and I was glad when he didn’t speak to me. I hadn’t moved after that, not even when my body began to cramp from the position I’d pulled myself up into. My brain was still struggling to process the events of last night after Mace’s bone-melting kiss, but I hadn’t been able to give much thought to anything other than knowing what vile things Mace had thought me capable of doing. The idea that he’d believed I was like the monsters who’d preyed on me the moment I stepped off that bus in Chicago nine years ago was abhorrent to me, and all I really wanted to do was wake up from what had to be another one of my many nightmares.

“Jonas.”

I flinched at the sound of Cole’s voice but when he sat down on the bed behind me and settled his hand on my shoulder, I jerked away from him until there was no room on the bed for me to escape to.