Absolution (The Protectors 1)

“I made sure I wasn’t followed,” Cole growled.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Cole ignored me and reached for yet another beer. I stepped forward and snatched it from him. The move flipped some kind of switch inside of him because he used all his weight to shove me back. And then he kept coming at me until my back hit the wall. He pulled his fist back to hit me, the rage in his eyes glittering like diamonds. “Do it,” I said quietly.

I didn’t know if it was my tone that deflated his anger or something else but he dropped his arm and released his hold on me. But when he didn’t step back, I snagged my arm around him and turned us so that it was his back to the wall.

“What happened?” I asked as I gently pinned his arms to the wall.

“I can’t stop it,” he whispered. “He’s going to die and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Who?”

“My father.”

“Is that who you went to check on?”

Cole nodded. “You know what he is, don’t you? You saw him at the funeral.”

I’d suspected but I hadn’t said anything. “He’s an alcoholic.”

Another nod. “I’m trying to get him to go to rehab…”

“But he won’t go,” I finished for him.

“You should have seen him, Mace - the man he used to be. I don’t even know him anymore.”

“Men like him need to hit bottom before they’ll get help, Cole. Believe me, I know.”

Cole studied me for a long moment before saying, “You?”

I nodded. “Six years sober.” I leaned in to kiss him. “We’ll get him some help when this is over. I promise.”

“You talk like you’ll still be around when we figure all this out.”

I wanted to tell him I wasn’t going anywhere but I couldn’t because I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen. So I kissed him again and felt a thrill go through me when Cole kissed me back. We were both breathless by the time I pulled back and I rested my forehead on his as I tried to recover. “Is this okay?”

Cole seemed to know what I was talking about because he nodded and then kissed me.

“Have you ever been with another man?” I asked.

“No,” he admitted as he leaned his head back against the wall. “I’m completely out of my element here, Mace. And that should scare the shit out of me but it doesn’t. None of this makes any sense but I want it.”

I slashed my lips over his again and sucked, nipped and licked at his mouth until he was desperately rubbing his dick against mine. I tore my lips from his and said, “It has to be with both of us. Me and Jonas. Or not at-”

“Yes,” Cole moaned as he tugged his hands free of my hold and grabbed my head so he could plunder my mouth. He switched our positions so it was my back against the wall. This time when we separated, he let his lips hover against mine as he said, “Sorry I left without talking to you.”

I nodded, stole a kiss and then said, “This thing between us, Cole, I don’t want it to be about scratching an itch. Jonas and I, we’re already in too deep for that. I know it’s not fair to ask since you’re also dealing with the newness of it all…”

“An itch wasn’t what kept bringing me back to Jonas. It isn’t what had me scared to death when you said you were going back to the gallery by yourself yesterday. Everything about my life is fucked up right now, Mace. Everything I’ve known has been stolen away from me. You and Jonas…you make me feel a little less lost. I’m not giving that up just because it didn’t come in the package I always thought it would.”

Cole kissed me thoroughly and by the time we separated, I was riding a high unlike any I’d ever known. “We need to talk about Jonas before this goes any further…what he needs from us if we do this,” I managed to say as I struggled to catch my breath.

Cole nodded and put some space between our bodies. I missed the contact almost immediately but we both turned when we heard the floorboards creak. Jonas was standing in the entryway and I could tell from his flushed skin that he’d been watching us…and that he’d liked what he saw.

“I’ll tell him,” Jonas said to me before he turned his attention to Cole.

Chapter Eighteen

Cole

“Let’s go in the living room,” I said to Jonas as I reached out to take his hand. It felt cold and clammy in mine despite how turned on Jonas was as a result of having seen me and Mace together.

I’d had a shitty day from the moment I forced myself to release my hold on Jonas this morning and climb out of bed. I’d known Mace would be pissed at me for leaving without an adequate explanation but I hadn’t expected him to actually be worried about me. I also hadn’t expected to hear that he shared the same affliction as my father but in a perverse way, it gave me hope. Mace had suffered so many of the same things as my father, but had come through it. Maybe I could still get back the man I’d idolized instead of having to bury the bitter, angry drunk who just this morning had called me some pretty choice names when I’d told him I was going to go see his doctor about getting him into rehab. The answers I’d gotten were on par with what I’d expected. The most I could do was try to get a court to find my father incompetent but since he didn’t have any mental issues, it was unlikely any judge would give me the power to make medical decisions for him. Which meant the only way my father was going to get help was if he chose to. And that was looking more and more like a pipe dream.