Absolution (The Protectors 1)

The door to the master bedroom was closed, but I didn’t bother knocking. Jonas was sitting on the edge of the far side of the bed, staring out the window.

“Here,” I said as I handed him the phone. “Make sure your friend is okay.”

“Thanks,” Jonas murmured as he took the phone. I was glad to see he hadn’t been crying but he looked so heartbroken that he may as well have been.

“He’ll be okay, Jonas.”

“I won’t,” Jonas whispered.

I tilted his chin up to force him to look at me. His eyes were shrouded with so much pain that I knelt down in front of him and put my hands on his hips. “Talk to me, baby.”

“I can’t be the reason he loses a little more of himself,” Jonas said. “I want Eduardo and Mateo to pay for what they did. I want them stopped. But I don’t want him to be the one who does it.”

I didn’t really know how to respond since I understood what Jonas was saying. But I also knew that even if Mateo and Eduardo both ended up behind bars, they could still reach Jonas.

Jonas must have sensed my hesitation because he said, “I need to call Casey.”

I nodded and released Jonas and stood. I told myself all this would right itself once Mace had eliminated all the threats against Jonas, but as I looked over my shoulder and saw Jonas still sitting exactly as I’d left him, head hung, phone lax in his hand, I started to seriously wonder if any of us would be able to come back from this.

By the time I got back downstairs, Ronan was gone and Mace was sitting in the same spot at the kitchen table. But I stilled when I saw the bottle of beer sitting in front of him on the table. It was still full and capped but the way he was looking at it…

I sat down in the chair next to Mace and watched him as he studied the bottle of beer.

“My friends used to make fun of me in high school because I refused to even take a sip of alcohol at parties,” Mace said quietly. “I saw what it did to some of them – how it made even the smartest guys do the stupidest things. I didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize my chances of getting into the academy so I never even tried it.”

“The police academy?” I asked.

Mace nodded. “I knew when I was a little kid that that’s what I was going to be when I grew up. Perfect childhood, perfect job, wife, kid…I did everything right and it paid off.”

“How did you meet your wife?”

“I arrested her,” Mace said with a chuckle.

“Really?”

“Yeah. She was part of an animal rights protest outside this lab where they did animal testing. She and a bunch of others had chained themselves to the front door so no one could get in or out. When I arrested her, she called me some pretty choice names. Even took a swing at me. I knew right then that she was the one for me.”

I laughed at that. “What happened?”

“She came by the precinct to apologize. She actually asked me out before I even got the chance. A year later we were married and Evan was on the way.” Mace looked up at me. “What about you? Was there anyone special?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “A couple girls here and there in school. Lots of women between deployments but those were more about convenience,” I admitted.

“No guys?”

I laughed. “No. This” – I motioned between us – “was a complete surprise. What about you? Did you always know?”

Mace nodded. “I knew when I was maybe twelve or thirteen that my attraction to guys was just as strong as it was to women, more so even. I fooled around with some guys in high school but it was always in secret. I finally told my parents when I was eighteen and I wanted to bring my first serious boyfriend home to meet them. We’d met in the academy. The relationship didn’t last but my parents barely even blinked. They were just as welcoming to him as they’d been to the girls I’d dated.”

“And Shel?”

“She knew I was bi. It didn’t bother her – she knew she was it for me.”

I hated even needing to ask but the not knowing was killing me. “Are you still in love with her?”

Mace didn’t even hesitate when he said, “I still love her but I’m in love with you and Jonas.”

I sucked in my breath at that because I hadn’t expected the admission. At least not for me.

“It’s the same, if you’re wondering,” I heard Mace say and I forced my eyes up, not even realizing I’d dropped them.

“What is?”

“What I feel for you. It’s just as strong as what I feel for Jonas. I wouldn’t be able to choose between you. I won’t,” he added firmly.