Absolution (The Protectors 1)

“You’re not like those men, Mace,” I said.

“You sure about that, Cole? Because I wonder every time I pull that trigger if I’m doing it to protect future victims or if I’m doing it to avenge one past one.”

I got up and went to stand behind Mace who was still leaning over the sink, his fingers gripping the edge. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and said, “Then don’t do this, Mace. We’ll find another way.”

Mace’s hand came up to cover one of mine. “He’ll never be safe, Cole. You know that.”

Mace turned around to face me. “One last job and I’m out.” Mace kissed me before pulling free of my hold. “I’m going to go get some air.”

I watched him leave the kitchen and heard the front door open and close. I went on autopilot after that and started preparing the dinner that I knew no one would eat.

* * *

When I opened the door to the master bedroom, I was pleased to see two things. One, that Jonas had eaten a little bit of the dinner I’d left on the nightstand while he’d been in the shower and two, that he’d found the sketchpad and pencils I’d left on the bed for him. He was so engrossed with whatever he was sketching that he didn’t even notice me until I stopped next to the bed.

“Thank you,” he said as he lifted the sketchpad just a little. I nodded and climbed on the bed next to him and leaned back against the headboard. I’d bought the sketchpad the day before when I’d gone to check on my father. With all that had happened, it felt like a lifetime ago.

“The guy at the store picked out the pencils since I didn’t know which ones would work.”

“They’re perfect,” Jonas said and he leaned over and kissed me. I could tell that drawing had relaxed him because his whole body seemed more at ease. Unfortunately, his eyes still looked haunted.

“Did he leave?” Jonas asked, his fingers working furiously on whatever he was drawing.

“No. He just needed some time to clear his head. I saw him walking down the driveway an hour ago.”

Jonas nodded.

“How are Casey and Devlin doing?”

“Okay considering what’s happened. They were both really scared about possibly losing the baby but the doctors are sure she’ll be able to carry it to term if she doesn’t get too stressed. They wanted me to come out there to stay with them but I told them it wasn’t safe.”

He fell silent as he focused on his work.

“Can I see?” I asked.

He nodded and handed me the sketchpad. He leaned back against the headboard next to me so he could watch me flip through the pages. The first page had a picture of the horse from Casey and Devlin’s barn as well as drawings of Ryan and Isabel Prescott. The second page had a picture of me and Mace lying in bed, my front to Mace’s back, my head resting against Mace’s neck. Mace’s eyes were closed but mine were open. I knew exactly when the picture was from – it was from the night before when Jonas and I had made love to Mace and he’d fallen asleep between us. Jonas and I had just stared at each other as we listened to Mace’s soft breathing.

“You knew it before I did,” I said as I studied the expression on my face. I was a man at peace…a man who was exactly where he was supposed to be. I looked up at Jonas. “I didn’t fully admit to myself that I was in love with both of you until this afternoon when Ronan arrived.”

Jonas didn’t say anything. He just took the pad from me and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed and then shifted until he was straddling me. I let my hands settle on his hips as he leaned down to kiss me. All the kisses Jonas had instigated with me had always started off tentative, as if he was unsure of what my reaction would be. This kiss…with this one he went straight in for the kill because by the time his tongue was done mating with mine, I was desperately rocking my hips up against him in an effort to ease the ache in my dick. I sat up so our bodies were flush and wrapped my arms around his waist as I took everything he gave me. When he was done, he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine.

“I always wondered what would have happened if things had been different. If I’d begged my parents to let me stay. If I’d picked some other city besides Chicago. If I’d pushed down on the razor blade just a little bit harder. I’ve stopped wondering because all those things led me to you. To this moment. It was all worth it,” Jonas said, his voice breaking. “It was all fucking worth it.” Then he kissed me again until we were both shaking.