Absolution (The Protectors 1)

I finally managed to get the rest of Mace’s shirt unbuttoned and then turned him so he was facing Jonas. I pulled Mace’s shirt away as he shrugged it off and then we both waited as Jonas eyed Mace’s impressive chest.

“No,” Jonas said a second later. His eyes lifted to Mace’s and he smiled wide. “You didn’t!”

I laughed and watched as Jonas closed the distance between them to get a better look at Mace’s newly pierced nipple. Jonas trailed his fingers over it but when he gave it a tug, Mace winced and said, “Go easy, it’s still a bit sore.” Jonas’s response was to bend his head and drag the flat of his tongue over Mace’s nipple before circling it with his entire mouth.

“Fuck,” Mace muttered.

“Better?” Jonas asked coyly.

Instead of answering him, Mace kissed him and then they came after me.

Which I was perfectly fine with.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jonas

As soon as I said the words, “I’m ready,” Cole and Mace both froze. It would have been comical if I hadn’t been so nervous.

Since we’d been reluctant to take our hands and mouths off each other for the time it took to get undressed, it took us several long minutes to finally make it to my bed at the far end of the apartment. Now, Cole was at my back kissing a path down my neck while Mace was in front of me, his hand stroking over my cock. They both stilled their movements and then Mace was gently cupping my face and saying, “You know it doesn’t matter, right? What we have is absolutely perfect.”

“I know, but I want it all,” I said. “I want this, Mace. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” I saw Mace look over my shoulder at Cole and I knew I would never get tired of that. How they were so in tune with each other to make sure I got what I needed.

Since the shooting, I’d struggled with forgiving myself like I’d promised Mace I would, and that made me think of the things Ronan had said to me. Mace had punished himself for so long that he’d needed something stronger than his own self-hatred to be able to make it through each day. Ronan had given him that, but it was the absolution that he’d gotten from the people he’d hurt the most that truly set him free.

It had taken me a while to understand that my own absolution had to come from myself. Because despite all the things Eduardo and the men who had come after him did to me, I hadn’t ever truly forgiven myself for believing I’d done something to deserve what had happened to me…that I’d brought it upon myself because of my foolish decision to accept Mateo’s help so long ago when I’d gotten off that bus. It was one of the only things Mace and Cole couldn’t give me but they’d given me the strength I needed to give it to myself.

Neither of my men said anything after that because they didn’t need to. I knew all I had to do was ask them to stop and they would. They both picked up right where they’d left off and by the time Mace dropped to his knees in front of me, I was quivering in desperation for relief. But that only lasted for as long as it took for Cole to run his hands over my ass before spreading my cheeks apart. Because then my nerves came back at full speed and even though I’d seen Mace and Cole do this to each other, had done it to them myself, I still couldn’t get past the fear that it would bring back the darkness of my past.

I locked my knees at Cole’s first swipe of his tongue over my hole but it wasn’t until Mace stood up and kissed me and whispered, “Breathe,” against my mouth that I realized I hadn’t been doing that. Releasing the pent up air in my system helped. Mace stepped into me so that our bodies were lined up and I felt his hands replace Cole’s so that he was the one holding me open as Cole flicked at my entrance. By the third pass of his tongue, I was truly afraid this would be one part of lovemaking that I wouldn’t be able to get into but then I started to feel a tingle in my belly as Cole kept up the gentle kisses. Mace never let up on my mouth so my senses went into overdrive as my body tried to adjust to the dual torture.

Minutes could have been hours for all I knew as they each teased me, and when Cole pulled his mouth away from my body, I actually reached behind me to try and stop his retreat. But then Mace was lowering us both to the bed, me on top of him, and I felt Cole settle in behind me. He went right back to kissing, sucking and licking my hole as Mace made love to my mouth. I was so hot by the time Cole dribbled lube on my opening that it actually felt good against my heated skin. I tried not to tense when Cole’s finger began to push inside of me but I couldn’t help it.