I didn’t press him for details because I knew his wounds were just too fresh. And I knew he wasn’t the only one suffering. I’d heard the stories about how Dom’s youngest brother, Rafe, had been sexually abused as a child after his biological father had gained custody of him and taken him away from his three older brothers. Dom and his older brother Vin had searched for Rafe for years, and hadn’t learned the truth of the horror their baby brother had had to endure until he’d had returned to Seattle almost twenty years later. My close relationship with Ren, the fourth Barretti brother, had given me insight into the brothers’ relationship as they’d all struggled to heal from the scars of the past. I had no doubt Dom was now reliving many of the same emotions he’d experienced after learning Rafe had been forced to sell himself for most of his childhood.
Because even though they shared no blood between them, I knew Dom viewed Eli as one of his own kids.
Eli nudged me with his arm and I looked up from where I’d been studying my hands. “More good days than bad,” he said with a smile and I watched him glance over his shoulder at the man standing just inside the open door of the house. Maverick James was nothing like the man I would have pictured Eli with, but he was utterly perfect for him in every way. The long-haired, heavily tattooed man’s smile widened as he and Eli held each other’s gazes for a moment before Mav turned and disappeared back into the house. When Eli’s eyes returned to mine, there was no pain or shame in them – just pure joy that seemed to light him up from the inside out.
Fuck, I wanted that.
“How’s Caleb?” I asked as I reached for the last hot dog and took my time feeding it to Baby who was still draped over Eli’s lap.
Eli sighed. “He’s struggling,” he said softly. “He won’t talk to me and he’s refusing to go see the therapist my mom, Dom and I are seeing.”
Eli’s stepbrother was only seventeen years old and while I hadn’t met him yet, I couldn’t even imagine what he was going through. He’d lost everything in the span of a few weeks.
“Give him time,” I murmured. “When you lose everything all at once…”
I shook my head as the painful memories washed over me. Even eight years later, the loss of my parents and older brother still caused a crushing pain that always stole my breath. I’d been lucky enough to still have my younger sister and an older half-brother and his then-boyfriend who’d stepped in to become the family I’d so badly needed. “He’ll be okay,” I finally managed to get out.
Eli nodded and then laughed when Baby rolled over onto his back, his legs splayed in invitation. I smiled at the dog’s antics and reached out to rub his belly.
“Dom said he and Logan are flying to New York next weekend to pick up Tristan,” Eli said.
A fierce rush of longing went through me at the mention of Tristan and I had to drag in a deep breath before I could respond.
“Um, yeah, he’s doing this showcase thing. I guess it’s a pretty big deal. Dom and Logan wanted to see him perform before they got him packed up and brought him home.”
Eli shook his head. “Man, to have that kind of talent,” he murmured.
I nodded in agreement. I’d seen Tristan play the piano only a handful of times, but he blew me away every time his fingers touched the keys. I hadn’t been at all surprised that he’d be invited to attend Julliard in New York. And though I’d been happy for him, I’d felt the loss, too, because while I had always planned to return to Seattle after completing my undergraduate work at UCLA, I’d known that Tristan’s talent would take him all over the world and I’d be lucky to see him on select holidays.
But for some reason, Tristan had decided to come home after just a year in New York and instead of questioning why, I’d jumped at the chance to reconnect with him and had suggested we get a place together near the University of Washington campus. I hadn’t even considered the foolishness of my actions until long after Tristan had accepted. I’d wanted a chance to keep building on the tentative friendship we’d formed as kids, but as I’d thought more and more about how hard it would be to be around someone I could never have, I’d realized I’d made a terrible mistake. Because while I was attracted to men as equally as I was to women, Tristan was straight and I’d already had to endure the sight of him with someone else the few times I’d been home during his senior year in high school. I had no idea if he was still dating the same young woman or not, but it didn’t matter. Tristan was smart, beautiful, kind and incredibly talented. He wouldn’t be single for long and by making him my roommate, I’d condemned myself to the torture of having to watch him give what I wanted to someone else.