I’d known it was coming, but I still felt the chill of fear come over me as I realized I might have jeopardized the fragile connection Brennan and I had managed to build with Memphis.
But it was like Brennan had said the night before, when I’d told him I needed to tell my parents everything including about him and Memphis…
Go big or go home.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Brennan
“Damn it, Tristan!” Memphis barked as he began pacing back and forth. Tink, who’d been sitting quietly on Tristan’s lap, took off and disappeared into the bedroom and Tristan was left to wring his hands together as Memphis fumed.
Anger went through me and I put my hand over Tristan’s and said, “I told my brother about you too, so if you want to be pissed, be pissed at me because I knew about your stupid rule! Tristan didn’t!”
“Brennan,” Tristan started to say, but I shook my head at him and then stood up.
“What the fuck are you so afraid of, Memphis?” I snapped as I stepped over Tristan’s legs and got in front of Memphis so he’d stop the pacing. “We aren’t like that asshole who hurt you before!”
“No, you’re worse!”
I reared back as if he’d struck me and I felt Tristan at my back, his hand seeking mine out.
“How?” I asked in disbelief.
“Because you make me want to live in your fucking fairy tale world! You make me want to believe that people like you really can love people like me!”
“People like you-” I began, but Memphis cut me off.
“Ask me the God damn question, Brennan! Ask me the question you’ve been wanting to ask me from the moment you found out my entire family is gone!”
I didn’t want to ask him because I didn’t want the answer.
“How did your family die, Memphis?” Tristan asked as he stepped beside me, his hand still clutching mine. It was damp and I could feel the slight tremor in it.
“Not how, Tristan,” Memphis said coldly. “Ask me why they’re dead.”
“Why?” was all Tristan said.
“Because I was too blinded by love,” – the last word came out as an ugly sneer – “to see what was staring me right in the face,” he snapped. Memphis paused for a moment and when he spoke, his voice was less angry and more dejected. “You guys want what? Something like what your uncles have?” he asked. “A bed big enough for three, a couple of kids, dinner with the big old happy family each week?”
Neither Tristan nor I answered because it clearly wasn’t necessary. He had us pegged perfectly.
“A fucking fairy tale,” Memphis bit out again. “I told you from the beginning I’m not that guy,” he said and then he walked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Hurt lanced through me at the dismissal and I looked at Tristan to see he wasn’t faring any better. I tugged him with me and headed for the door, grabbing my keys as I went. We’d come back for our shit another time. Right now, I just wanted to get the hell as far away from Memphis Wheland as I could.
I had the door to the room open when Tristan pulled me to a stop.
“Tristan-”
“I don’t need the fairy tale,” Tristan said softly. “I need you. I need him.”
“He doesn’t want us, Tristan,” I said, hating how even saying the words made me want to keel over in pain.
“He didn’t say that, Brennan.”
My need to protect myself and Tristan warred with my need to seek Memphis out and make him understand that we were it for him.
“Go big or go home,” Tristan whispered.
I nodded and said, “Go big or go home.”
I closed the door with a little more force than I’d intended and the sound seemed loud in the silence of the room. I gathered Tristan in my arms and held him for a moment just so I could draw from his strength.
“He’s not going to make this easy,” I warned him.
“I know,” Tristan murmured. “I don’t need easy either.”
I smiled against his neck and then took his hand and led him to the bedroom door. I didn’t bother knocking since I knew Memphis wouldn’t give us permission to enter anyway. But as soon as the door swung open, I froze at the unfamiliar voice.
“Do you want to make a movie for Memphis, Janie?”
I didn’t recognize the man’s voice, but it was clearly coming from Memphis’s cell phone which he was hunched over. He was sitting on the other side of the bed, his back to us. I instinctively knew he was watching the video I’d seen him watch on more than one occasion, but without the sound. I also knew Janie was his sister and my heart dropped out as I started to put things together in my mind.
“For Memphis?” came a young woman’s confused voice, but while she had the register of an adult, her tone sounded like that of a little girl. “Will Mama and Papa be in it?”