He doesn’t know what he’s saying.
So why the fuck couldn’t I move? Why couldn’t I remove his hand? Why the hell had I let my lips part instead of dragging them free of the incendiary contact? Why were my fingers digging into the arm he was resting on his lap?
“Dante…” he murmured, his voice husky, desperate…pleading. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt what he wanted.
Jesus, I couldn’t do this. Even if he didn’t remember anything tomorrow, I would. But yet I still leaned forward…enough to watch Magnus’s eyes drift shut and to smell the faint scent of scotch on his breath.
Sanity returned in the form of Ace nudging my back and I jerked away from Magnus so fast, I hit my head on the top of the door frame. I met Magnus’s gaze as he reached out to settle his hand on Ace’s face. His eyes were filled with confusion and I hoped like hell he wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow. After studying me for several long seconds, Magnus leaned his head back against the seat and looked at Ace. “You’ll take care of the horses, right?” he murmured. I knew he’d be out in a matter of minutes because even now his eyes were drifting shut.
“I’ll take care of them,” I responded. “I’ll take care of everything, Magnus,” I whispered, but I had no idea if he heard me or not because he was asleep a moment later. I pushed Ace back enough so I could close the door and then led the horses around to the other side of the car so I could get it started. I turned up the heat and then closed the door and leaned back against it to wait for Colton. Ace bumped my chest and I put my hands on each side of his big face.
“I’m so fucked, Ace. Completely and totally fucked.”
* * *
I was fucked, but luckily Magnus remained blissfully unaware. I didn’t know what deity I had to thank for Magnus being a functioning drunk with a shitty memory, but I was willing to sign my firstborn over to make sure the man didn’t remember a single thing about the night before…specifically the part where I’d been about to take advantage of his vulnerability by kissing him. Sadly, no amount of alcohol would make me forget the events that had transpired less than 72 hours ago.
I’d waited at the cemetery only long enough for Colton to arrive and begin loading up the horses. He’d wanted to see Magnus, but I’d hesitated, not wanting his friend to see him like that. It wasn’t that I thought Colton would think any less of Magnus, but I knew how much Magnus prided himself on his self-control. I suspected it would be bad enough if he knew I’d seen him like that. So once Colton had shown up, I’d handed him the reins, thanked him and made an excuse about Magnus being wiped out from the events of the day. I was sure the man hadn’t believed that was all there was to it, but he hadn’t pressed me for more. Once I’d gotten Magnus back to the house, it had taken some time to rouse him and get him up to his bedroom. I’d gotten him into bed, but had only removed his shoes since I was one hundred percent certain he wouldn’t like knowing I’d undressed him. Colton had arrived about ten minutes later, but had driven straight to the barn to unload the horses. He’d sent me a text telling me the horses were put up for the evening and that he’d fed them as well. He’d also asked me to have Magnus text him the following day if he was up to it.
Sunday morning had come and gone with not a peep out of Magnus. Afternoon was the same. By evening, I’d become concerned and knocked on his door. He’d quietly asked me to leave him alone through the door. I’d taken some dinner up to him that night, but hadn’t spoken to him again. By Monday morning, things were back to normal and Magnus was actually up before me. Freshly showered and shaven, he’d apologized for the day before saying he’d been worn out and had slept most of the day. There’d been no mention of the events that had transpired at the wake and afterwards. But there also hadn’t been any kind of awkwardness between us which was confirmation enough that he didn’t remember the details of that night or what I’d almost done.
I’d spent all of Monday finishing up the work on the outside of the house while Magnus had started to pack up his personal belongings that he would be taking back to Seattle with him immediately. I hadn’t realized Magnus would be driving back to the city and more importantly, I hadn’t been sure if the plan was for me to drive with him. By then the trial would be over so, in theory, he wouldn’t be in danger anymore. But when Memphis had mentioned that fact to me, I’d found myself trying to convince the man that it would be better to play it safe and have me stick with Magnus until he was home in one piece. Memphis had told me it would be up to Magnus, but I had yet to approach him about it.