Prologue
Hawke
Excitement flooded all my nerve endings as I worked to pick the lock in front of me, but that wasn’t a good thing. I needed the familiar numbness back. I needed to not feel anything at all.
Excitement in my line of work accomplished one of two things. It either left you open to making a mistake that could end up getting you killed, or it meant you were so far gone that you’d become as soulless as the men you’d been sent to rid the earth of. In my case, it was still the former, but I often wondered if there would be a point where I’d actually look forward to taking a man’s life. Where I thought less about the life or lives I was saving in the long run and more about the satisfaction of finally having some of the power back that I’d lost so long ago…that had been stolen from me when they’d stolen her.
But unlike the countless lives I’d taken in the last decade for both the army and for the underground organization I now worked for, this kill would be about pleasure. I was going to enjoy watching the man’s frantic eyes pleading with me as he desperately promised to give me what I wanted. And I’d let him believe up until the very end that he had a chance of walking away without a bullet in his brain.
He wouldn’t. Nor would his partner. They would die the same way she had died. Slowly and painfully. And they would suffer the way she’d suffered. They’d beg the way she’d begged. And I’d finally be able to keep the promise that I’d whispered in her ear as her heartbeat had slowed, the pauses between beeps on the heart monitor she’d been hooked to growing longer and longer.
I’ll find them. I’ll end them and then we’ll be together again.
A sigh of relief went through me when I heard and felt the lock disengage. But as I reached for the knob, I heard the elevator open behind me and I yanked my tools out of the lock and hurried to the stairwell door that was just around the corner from the apartment I’d been about to enter. I didn’t hear voices, but I could tell that there were at least two people heading in my general direction. And when I saw two men stop right in front of the door I’d been about to open, I felt a rush of energy surge through me. I’d hoped and prayed I’d find both of my wife’s murderers at the same time, but it had been just that…hope. But my hopes were dashed when I realized one of the men wasn’t old enough.
“Um, thanks for the ride,” I heard the one guy say. His back was to me so all I saw was an average build and a head of thick, brown hair that had a little bit of curl to it. He was wearing a beat up leather jacket and a loose pair of jeans.
“My pleasure,” the man with him murmured. He was about the same age as the first guy who I guessed to be in his mid-twenties. But whereas the other guy looked very blue collar, the guy with him was white collar all the way. His suit looked custom made for his tall, muscular body and I had no doubt the thick watch on his wrist cost more than my car.
Even from where I stood, I could tell by the first guy’s body language that he was uncomfortable. But if the second guy noticed, he didn’t care because he pressed against the first guy until the man had nowhere left to go, since the door was at his back.
“I should get going,” the first guy said. “I’ve got an early morning.” Suit guy ignored the clear signals the other guy was sending and leaned down to kiss him. The brown haired guy turned his head away, but that didn’t stop suit guy from kissing the man’s exposed neck. I couldn’t say why the whole thing bothered me, but I didn’t dwell on it. Brown haired guy deserved whatever he got because he was clearly the one who lived in the apartment…he was the man I was interested in, but for a whole other reason.
“I could use you again tomorrow night,” suit guy said as he took a whiff of the other guy.
“Yeah, sure,” brown haired guy said, but he didn’t move at all. He clearly wasn’t enjoying the other man’s attentions, but seemed reluctant to stand up to him.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Suit guy placed a kiss on the other man’s cheek and then pushed back and strode away. I heard the elevator ding but my target didn’t move right away. At some point, he’d closed his eyes and leaned his dejected frame against the door. He looked…done.