I’d driven back to Whidbey Island just as the sun had been rising over the mountains behind me and for the first time in the ten years since I’d lost Revay, I’d felt a few moments of peace. I’d gone back to the motel and slept for a couple of hours before gathering my things. My plan had been to return to the hospital only long enough to take care of the hospital bill, but when I’d spied a toy store on the way to the ferry dock, I hadn’t been able to curb the need to leave a little piece of myself behind with the little boy who’d reminded me what true strength was all about.
Matty’s smile as I’d entered his hospital room had turned me inside out and when he’d put out his arms expectantly, I’d hugged him and fought the sting of tears I’d felt burning the backs of my eyes. I’d only glanced at Seth once because the young man’s knowing eyes had me wanting to retreat in on myself. I’d had no doubt that he’d known what my plan for Tate was and I hadn’t wanted to risk the same look of censure in his eyes that I’d seen in Ronan’s that first day.
I’d listened as Matty had proudly explained how brave he’d been for all the tests and procedures that had been done on him and that he’d made a new friend named Susie, but my heart had nearly broken when he’d asked if I would spend the night like his daddy did. The doll I’d bought him had helped appease him when I’d explained that I had to leave for a while and I hadn’t lingered after that. Partly because I hated hurting the little boy who’d clearly grown fonder of me than he probably should have, considering the shitty way I’d treated him. But mostly because I hadn’t wanted to run into his father. My obsession with Tate was spiraling out of control and I’d been terrified that even being around him for the few seconds it would take to say my goodbyes would have had me wanting something more than I should.
So for the first time in my life, I’d run. I’d taken the coward’s way out and I’d left a note…a fucking note. And I hadn’t even had the balls to actually tell Tate I was sorry for what I’d done. I’d gotten in my car and started driving and as the miles had flown by, I’d forced all thoughts of Tate from my mind and I’d done what I did best. I planned.
But a stranger showing up in the dead of night wasn’t part of my plan. I had no reason to think it was anyone but a harmless tourist who’d gotten lost while looking for nearby Yellowstone National Park, but my years of tracking hardened, evil men had skewed my reality and I was always on the alert for any possibility. Hell, truth be told, my faith in humanity had been fucked up from the moment I ran into my burning house and found my wife lying on the floor of our bedroom, her body covered in blood as flames had licked at her skin.
The car rattled to a stop about ten feet from me, but the glare from the security light above the garage made it impossible to see the driver’s face. But the second the door tentatively opened and brown hair appeared, I knew who it was and my stomach dropped out. My mouth went dry as Tate’s eyes connected with mine and I felt heat wash through my entire body before setting up camp in my gut.
Neither of us spoke after he closed the car door and for the life of me, I couldn’t break the connection we had just from staring at each other. I still didn’t understand how I could suddenly be attracted to a man, but what I was struggling with even more was my level of attraction. The idea of touching another man, tasting him, should have made me at least wary. But the only messages my brain was sending me was how good Tate would feel in my arms, beneath me, surrounding me.
Tate’s eyes finally shifted to the rifle I had in my hand and I automatically pointed it towards the ground. I’d terrorized this man enough, even if my threats had been empty ones.
“What are you doing here?” I managed to ask as I forced my gaze from Tate and focused on putting the rifle back in the bag of weapons I’d been putting in my truck. I tried to keep my breathing even as I heard Tate approach me. When he didn’t answer me, I made myself turn to face him and saw that he was less than a foot from me…it would be so easy to draw him forward into my arms. I wondered if he would come willingly. I suspected he was gay based on the encounter he’d had with the man the night I’d broken into his apartment, but I could have read that situation wrong. After all, Tate hadn’t seemed to be enjoying the man’s attentions. And his physical reactions to me when I’d pulled him against me at Seth and Ronan’s house, as well as in the hotel room the night we’d driven up to Seattle from California, could have just been fear on his part.