“Hi sweetie, sorry I’m late,” the voice said and I barely noticed the young woman round the corner. She seemed oblivious as she shrugged off her jacket and dumped it and her purse on the small table against the wall.
“Oh,” the woman said when she finally realized Levi wasn’t alone. I forced my attention to her and that seemed to knock Levi from his daze.
“Sherry, this is Phoenix. He’s a new volunteer. Phoenix, this is Sherry.”
“Hi, Sherry,” I said as I reached out my hand to her.
I barely heard her as she welcomed me and began making small talk, because my eyes strayed back to Levi who’d dropped his gaze.
“Um, I’m going to go start getting things ready up front, okay?”
The confusion in her voice finally seemed to get through to Levi because he looked at her and nodded. “Um, yeah, okay. Do you need help?”
Sherry looked back and forth between me and Levi and shook her head. Where she’d been friendly before, her eyes were clouded with suspicion as she pinned me with her gaze and took a step closer to Levi. “If you need anything, just call out, okay?” she murmured to him as she patted his arm.
He nodded.
I received what I was sure was some kind of silent warning from the girl before she left. If I hadn’t still been reeling from the near miss with Levi, I would have smiled at the thought of the petite girl threatening me with bodily harm if I hurt the young man across from me.
Levi was the first to move. He moved past me to stir the soup again. “It’s really good. Thanks. I’ll remember that for next time.”
It took me a moment to realize he was talking about the spices I’d added.
“No problem. They’re my mom’s secret ingredients,” I said as I tried to get back on track. I took the spoon I was still holding and went to the sink to clean it off.
“Tell her I’ll take the secret to my grave,” Levi joked in an attempt to get us back on even footing.
But his words struck a chord and pain seared through my chest.
“Phoenix, are you okay?”
I glanced at him and saw him watching me with worry. I nodded and tried to smile, but wasn’t sure I managed to pull it off. “I keep thinking it will get easier.” I shifted my eyes back to the sink. “You’d think after six years, it would be easier.”
“What?” Levi asked, his voice soft…and close. I sensed rather than felt him at my side.
I shook my head. Luckily, Levi seemed to realize what I couldn’t say.
“I’m sorry,” he offered. I felt his hand come to rest in the middle of my back and begin moving in large circles in an attempt to soothe me.
“It hits me when I least expect it,” I admitted.
“How did it happen?”
“Car accident.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he murmured as he dropped his eyes.
I shifted so I was facing him and then used my fingers under his chin to lift his face, but I didn’t say anything. I loved how warm his skin was. My curiosity got the best of me and I lifted my thumb so I could trace it over his lower lip. When I reached the cut near the side of his mouth, I paused.
It was a brutal reminder of who this man was and why I was here.
I dropped my hand. “We should probably get back to work. Dinner starts soon, right?”
Levi nodded. I wasn’t sure, but he seemed almost disappointed. We continued our work in silence, but my body refused to stop reacting to the close contact we were forced to work in within the narrow confines of the kitchen.
When the dinner service started, I joined Levi, Sherry and a young man named Patrick on the serving line as people began filing in through the main door leading from the church into the seating area. It was startling to see the wide variety of people the soup kitchen served. Sure, there were the typical-looking older men with scraggly beards, unkempt hair and tattered clothes who eagerly collected a bowl of stew along with rolls and a side of salad, but there were also people I never would have pegged as needing a helping hand. A young woman with three small children in tow was the most heartbreaking because she looked barely old enough to take care of herself, let alone three kids. And the look on her gaunt face…like she could lie down at any moment and go to sleep and gladly never wake up.
I knew some of these people were there by choice, since not everyone who lived on the streets was necessarily looking for a better life. But I suspected the majority had fallen on hard times due to anything from financial problems, dealing with mental illness or not being able to escape the lure of drugs and alcohol. And while everyone took the allotted amount of food they were allowed to, I could tell most were ashamed to have to hold out their hand.