Redemption (The Protectors 8)

Since I still had ahold of Levi’s hands, he couldn’t do anything about the tears that slipped from his eyes. He forced his head up, but it took several long seconds for his eyes to connect with mine.

“All I want is to give you a ride to work,” I murmured.

“I don’t believe you.”

The admission surprised me, mostly because it took balls to call someone a liar to their face, especially someone so much bigger and stronger. Or maybe he just didn’t care about the potential consequences.

Levi pulled free of me and stepped back, though with the bed behind him, there wasn’t really any place for him to go.

“I don’t know why you were in that alley yesterday, but I know it wasn’t to become a volunteer here. You stuck around even after I asked you to leave and then this afternoon, Father O told me you’re working here now and that you just happen to be on the same schedule as me. What am I supposed to think?” he asked. “I saw the way you looked at me in the kitchen. You know what I let T do to me.”

I didn’t miss his slip, though I didn’t have time to dwell on the fact that I now had a name to go with the asshole who’d roughed Levi up yesterday.

T.

“So, you think I’m no better than that fucker?” I asked as I moved closer to him. “You think my only reason for being here, the only reason I looked at you like I did in the kitchen was so I could get my dick down your throat or up your ass?”

Levi didn’t answer as I closed the distance between us until my body was brushing his. He was forced to crane his neck to look up at me.

“The offer for the ride is just that, Levi,” I said softly as I reached up to cup his jaw with both my hands. “As for what happened in the kitchen,” – I dropped my mouth so that it was hovering just above his for a moment before I skimmed my lips up his jaw in a featherlight caress – “I guess we’ll just never know because contrary to what you think, I don’t believe in taking what should always be freely given.”

I forced myself to release him and stepped back. Levi was breathing hard and I could see his body shaking. “I’ll wait outside for you for five minutes. If you still want that ride, be out there before then. If not…”

I didn’t bother finishing my sentence because it wasn’t necessary. I turned and left the room, having absolutely no clue if I’d see Levi outside in less than five minutes or not. It wouldn’t change anything if he wasn’t there, since I’d still be following him, but I couldn’t deny what I wanted the outcome to be.

It was that thought that had me glancing down at my watch.

Four minutes and fifty-five seconds to go.

Chapter 7

Levi

“Ricky, don’t!”

“Shut up, you fucking little coward!” Ricky hissed. “Let’s see if you’ll go running to Mommy and Daddy after this!”

“Levi?”

I jerked back to the present at the sound of Father O’s voice. With ice still flooding my veins, I looked up to see Father O watching me with concern from the doorway.

“What time is it?” I asked as I searched out my jacket on the bed.

How long had I been sitting here like this?

“Is he still here?” I didn’t give Father O a chance to answer before grabbing my jacket and saying, “Sorry, Father, I have to go.”

What I was doing was beyond stupid, but that didn’t slow me down. If anything, it got me moving faster.

I don’t believe in taking what should always be freely given.

God, I wanted so badly to believe him. Because if what he was saying was true, that moment in the kitchen…that moment where I hadn’t been able to look away from him, where I’d been staring at his beautiful lips and wondering what they would feel like against mine…had been real.

As I pushed open the door leading to the alley, that hated voice crept into my head.

My brother’s voice.

So what, you think you deserve a guy like that, you pathetic little shit? You’re a murderer.

I came to a stop as I sucked in a breath. No, I hadn’t actually wielded the knife that had ended two lives and destroyed a third, but wasn’t I just as culpable? More so, even, since I’d stood by and let it happen? Like the man who stood on the beach and watched another drown? No throwing him a lifeline or calling for help.

I was struggling to catch my breath as I stood there. What was I expecting? Friendship? Romance? To know what it felt like to be kissed, since I didn’t think the surprise smooch Lisa Larkin had laid on me in the first grade counted?