Redemption (The Protectors 8)

I forced my attention back to Phoenix and sucked in a breath. “I was still in school at the time. I hated going home afterwards, so I’d go to this park most afternoons and work on this comic book I was writing. It was about this kid who saves the world with his pen.” At Phoenix’s confused look, I shook my head and said, “Everything he draws, happens in real life. So if someone’s robbing a bank, he draws the police showing up and that’s what really happens. It was stupid.”

“No, it isn’t,” Phoenix said softly. “Did you like to draw?”

I nodded. “I wasn’t any good at it, but I liked it. Anyway, I’d stay at the park until it got dark and I was forced to go home. That night when I got home, my dad was already off on one of his benders at his favorite bar, but Ricky was waiting for me. He told me I was going with him, but he didn’t say where. Sometimes he’d force me to do things, like buying drugs for him, but he didn’t usually take me along for his bigger jobs…said I’d fuck things up. Which was fine by me.” I paused before saying, “I thought he just wanted me to get him drugs. I don’t know why that night was different.”

I got lost in thought and Phoenix had to prod me to continue by saying, “What happened?”

“I knew better than to argue with Ricky, so I went with him. We met up with this guy named Jed. Ricky told me to get in the car, but when I saw a black ski mask sitting on the back seat, I knew it wasn’t about drugs. I tried to get away, but Ricky grabbed me and said he had a job for me. When I told him no, he hit me and forced me into the back seat.” Even the memory of that moment had me wanting to curl in on myself.

“We drove around for a while as Jed and Ricky talked. They were talking about this safe and Ricky kept asking Jed if he was sure the guy who told him about the safe was right about it being full of money. We stopped at this abandoned gas station and Ricky explained to me that we were going to rob some rich guy. I didn’t say anything, because I knew just by looking at Ricky that I wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it. He was so…excited.”

My stomach rolled violently and I felt my body start to get cold. I shook my head because I needed to get this done. I willed myself to relax and waited until the chill passed. “On the way to the house, Ricky gave me an unloaded gun. Just the sight of it scared the hell out of me, but when I told him I didn’t want it, he hit me again. When we got to the house, I realized something was wrong. The way Jed and Ricky had been talking, it was just supposed to be the guy. But when we got inside the garage, they started arguing about the guy not being alone. I thought that would stop them…that we’d turn around and get out of there.”

“But it didn’t,” Phoenix observed.

I shook my head. “The man’s wife and son were home too. The kid…he was only fourteen. I found that out when I saw the story on the news the next day. He was so fucking scared, Phoenix,” I whispered.

The couch shifted slightly as Phoenix moved closer to me and settled his hand on my leg. “Finish your story, Levi. So it’s no longer between us.”

“Jed and Ricky got all three of them out of bed and we took them downstairs. We tied them up with zip-ties and then Ricky and Jed started ripping the paintings off the wall. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I guess it was a wall safe that they’d been looking for. They kept asking the father where it was, but he wouldn’t answer them…I think he was in shock or something. That’s when…when Ricky took the mom upstairs.”

Bile suddenly crawled up my throat and I jumped to my feet. “I’m going to be sick,” I managed to choke out and then I darted to Phoenix’s bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet in time. Humiliation washed through me as I felt a hand settle on my back. My stomach cramped painfully as my body tried to expel something that wasn’t there. Tears flowed from my eyes as the dry heaving continued. Once my insides relaxed, I dropped to my knees and immediately felt a cool washcloth being pressed against my forehead before it was used to wipe my face clean.

“Here,” Phoenix said softly as he handed me a toothpaste-covered toothbrush he’d just worked free from its packaging. I scrubbed my teeth until the rancid taste in my mouth finally disappeared. Phoenix helped me to my feet so I could rinse and spit and then he handed me mouthwash. When I was finished, he pressed a kiss to my forehead before he took my hand in his. But he didn’t lead me back to the living room. Instead, we went to his bedroom and he urged me up onto the bed. I was glad when he didn’t force me into his arms as he leaned back against the headboard, though that was exactly where I would have liked to have been. But I needed to see his reactions as I told the rest of my story. I was looking for that moment where his pity would turn to disgust. It was coming, I just wasn’t sure when.