Forsaken (The Protectors 4)

“Are you guys-” I began.

“No,” Brennan quickly interjected and a mask of indifference fell over his face. “It just makes sense to get a place together.”

I wanted to ask Brennan if that was the best idea considering how deep his feelings appeared to run, but he caught me off guard when he quietly asked, “So how are your parents?”

My stomach rolled, but I swallowed hard and nodded. “My mom is good. She’s trying to keep busy with the charity work she does for veterans and their families.”

“And your dad? How is he holding up?”

“He’s good,” I managed to get out and I steeled myself for the inevitable next question.

“And Caleb?”

“He’s hanging in there,” I murmured non-committedly.

Brennan sat back against the couch cushions and shook his head. “Fuck, poor guy. Finding his own brother like that…”

I could feel bile rising in my throat and I quickly stood and went to the kitchen and snatched the other bag of vegetables off the table, putting both back in the freezer.

“Sorry,” I heard Brennan murmur and I closed the freezer door to see him standing a few feet away. “I shouldn’t have brought it up,” he said.

“No, it’s okay,” I responded with a sigh. “It’s just been a rough few weeks.”

Brennan nodded in understanding. “I’ll make sure Dom and Logan hold off on the party.”

“Thanks,” I said and when Brennan leaned in to carefully hug me, I actually felt a moment of relief.

“It’s good to have you home, Eli,” Brennan said against my shoulder.

Tears stung my eyes as I said, “It’s good to be home.” Because it was yet another lie in a long line of lies I couldn’t seem to escape.

“I’ll catch you later,” Brennan said as he released me and turned to go. “Go easy on the stairs, man,” he added with a chuckle and then he left, giving Baby a quick pat before closing the door behind him.

The second the door clicked into place, the tears fell without warning and I covered my mouth with my uninjured hand to stifle the sobs in case Brennan was still within hearing range. I sank down into one of the kitchen chairs and tried to get control of myself, but when Baby bumped my good arm, I lost it and reached down to wrap my arm around the big dog who’d been the only certainty in my life from the moment Dom had given him to me. By the time all my tears had been spent, I was physically exhausted and every part of my body hurt. I got up and started to go to my bedroom, but stopped when my eyes caught on the picture frame Brennan had righted. I used my arm to wipe away the tears on my face as I went to the bookshelf. I stared at the eyes in the picture that were staring back at me and I wondered how I hadn’t seen it. Of all the things I’d seen in the eyes of the men who’d used me when I was a kid, how could I have missed what I so clearly saw now?

I bit back another sob and quickly turned the picture over before heading to my room. I just needed to forget for a little while. Tomorrow would be here soon enough and I’d have to figure out where to go from there. An unbidden image of forest green eyes jumped into my head as I crawled under the covers of my bed.

You know where to find me.

Yes, I did. And that was part of the problem.

Chapter Three

Mav

“Thor would so kick Hawkeye’s butt,” I declared as I shot the man across from me a challenging smile.

“Nuh-uh,” Matty interjected as he sat up in his hospital bed and searched out the Hawkeye doll that he always had close by along with the well-used Spiderman doll. “Hawkeye has a bow and arrows,” he said quickly as he pointed to the quiver of arrows on the Hawkeye doll’s back. “He could shoot Thor before Thor even knew what hit him,” Matty insisted. “Isn’t that right, Papa?” Matty asked as he turned his attention on the man sitting on the other side of the bed.

I didn’t miss the way Hawke’s whole body drew up tight when Matty referred to him that way and I suspected it was a relatively new thing. I also suspected Hawke loved every second of it. “That’s right,” Hawke managed to get out, though his voice was heavy with emotion.

Matty looked at me triumphantly and I put up my hands. “Okay, you got me Professor X.”

I felt my own chest constrict painfully as I took in Matty’s small body and bald head. Logically I knew the little boy’s treatment was progressing exactly as it should and he was responding well, but for all the good days he had, there were plenty of bad ones too where he was too sick to do anything but lay quietly in bed, sometimes in the arms of one of his fathers as they told him the superhero stories that he so loved.