I lay there for at least half an hour before I realized that Mav hadn’t come out of the bathroom yet. I’d heard the shower come on shortly after he’d gone in there and from what I could tell, it was still running. I waited another fifteen minutes before the concern began to gnaw at me and I slowly got out of bed. When another five minutes passed and the shower stayed on, I got up and went to the bathroom door and knocked.
“Mav?” I called, but there was no answer. I knew there was a likelihood that he couldn’t hear me in the shower, but that wasn’t enough to stop me from testing the knob. I was relieved to discover the door unlocked and as I pushed it open, I continued to knock and call his name. I saw him instantly because he wasn’t in the shower. No, he was sitting on the closed toilet still fully dressed, the picture of his mother in his hand.
“Mav? You okay?” I asked as I entered the room and came to a stop in front of him. The agony in his eyes was nearly unbearable.
“She’s really gone,” he whispered as tears started sliding down his face.
“I know, Mav. I’m sorry,” I said softly as I pushed his hair off his face.
“I told you she only called me when she needed money, but that wasn’t true. She used to call me on my birthdays too. Every year without fail. No matter how stoned or drunk she was, she always made that call. And not once when she did it did she ask for money.” Mav’s eyes dropped back down to the picture. “I fucking hated her for what she did, but God, I couldn’t wait to get that damn phone call.”
Mav let out a harsh sob and then covered his eyes with his hand. I pulled him against my belly and held on to him as his arms wrapped around my waist. I pressed kisses against the top of his head as his tears soaked through my shirt. When he finally quieted and lifted his head, I shifted until I was sitting astride his legs. I used my sleeve to wipe his wet face.
“They should have done better by you, Mav,” I said softly as I straightened his loose hair so it wasn’t stuck to his damp face. “They’re the ones who lost out by not knowing you…by not watching you grow up to be such an amazing man.”
Mav wrapped his arms around me again and settled his face against my neck. “As awful as that place was, I would have stayed if they’d shown me even an ounce of kindness,” he admitted.
“I know you would have. But I’m so glad you got out of there,” I added. I pulled back so I could look him in the eye. “I know it must have been terrible for you, being so young…” I said with a shake of my head. “But to think of you being condemned to that life.” I couldn’t even continue the thought because it was so disturbing. Mav was so vibrant and strong and those men had all looked like they’d died a thousand deaths and were just waiting for the one that would stick.
“I almost didn’t,” Mav said as he settled his hands on my hips. “My friend Travis and I made plans to get out together. We’d been saving every penny we could make from selling scrap metal. This guy on the reservation paid us a couple bucks a week to collect as much as we could and then he’d drive it to the city and sell it for cash. Between us, Travis and I saved up a couple hundred bucks – enough for bus tickets to the city where we figured we’d get jobs, find an apartment.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I came home one night after I’d been out looking for one of my uncles who’d wandered off drunk. I used to sleep on this porch behind the house – it was old and falling down, but no one wanted to share it with me so it was all mine. Anyway, I found this envelope under my pillow. There was a hundred dollars in it and a note from Travis telling me he was sorry.”
Mav dashed at his eyes as his voice became husky. “Travis was gay too, but he had it worse than me ‘cause his family used to beat him up all the time. But they’d also fucked with his head a lot and he was scared to leave them. When I saw that note, I knew…” Mav sucked in a breath before continuing. “I ran to his house…it was almost a mile away. I found him in the tent he used to sleep in behind the house. He’d shot himself with his father’s hunting rifle.”