Salvation (The Protectors 2)

I knew which man he was talking about. The one I’d only seen through a child’s eyes. The one who’d never really existed – at least, not on his own. I’d seen only parts of Ronan, but it wasn’t something I’d understood as a naïve boy of thirteen. I’d never really known the whole man.

Ronan finally released my hand and I felt the loss immediately. And as I stood there, I knew we were both at a crossroads. Our relationship would change tonight one way or another. But looking at Ronan, his head once again hung and his hands resting on the edge of the bed, I knew I would have to be the one to make the next move.

Chapter Nine

Ronan

I didn’t manage to take a deep breath until Seth finally moved away from me. I’d known it would be a mistake to grab him a second time, but I’d been terrified that I’d lose him forever if I’d let him leave with only the memory of me holding him back from touching me. I’d seen it in the way he looked at me. And the reality was, my admission about watching him all these years had likely come too late anyway.

My body ached and the scars on my chest tingled, but I knew the psychosomatic pain was a result of my nightmare and that it would fade within a few minutes. It was the first time I would actually miss the phantom pain, though, because the agony of letting Seth go was so much worse. I began making plans in my head for which of my men I could trust to make sure there was no threat to Seth – that the mugging in the garage had been just that…a random act and nothing else. I knew the answer before I could even complete the thought, because there was only one man who knew what Seth meant to me.

I reached for the light on my nightstand but stopped when I sensed movement in the room. I looked up to see that Seth hadn’t left yet. He was standing near the chair by the door – the chair I’d draped my pants, jacket and shoulder holster over when I’d changed earlier. One of my Glocks was on the nightstand next to my wallet, but I hadn’t thought to grab the other one. I saw Seth reach for the holster and I was about to tell him not to touch the gun when I realized he was just moving it out of the way. He shifted so I couldn’t see what he was doing, but a second later I had my answer because when he turned back to face me, he was holding my belt in his hand.

I cursed the heat that flooded my system at the sight of the smooth leather resting in the palm of his hand. I watched with bated breath as he came towards me but for the life of me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the sight of the belt in his grip. In the back of my mind, I knew what was happening but I couldn’t really believe it.

Seth handed me the belt and as soon as I took it, he held his arms out in front of him, the insides of his wrists pressed together. I shook my head at the offering but I couldn’t find any words.

I couldn’t do this.

I shouldn’t.

It would just fuck everything up even more.

I lifted my gaze to tell Seth no but then I saw it. The thing I’d feared I’d lost. It wasn’t hero worship or the wayward emotions of an innocent child. And it wasn’t some distorted reflection of a man who no longer existed. All I saw was me…the way he saw me.

And in that moment, he wasn’t Trace’s little brother and I wasn’t the broken man who couldn’t bear to be touched.

We were just us.

Instead of reaching for his wrists, I stretched out my arm and settled my hand on his lower back to pull him forward. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a gray T-shirt, so I had to maneuver my hand until I could touch bare skin. I heard his breathing tick up as I caressed him but his hands never moved. And they stayed exactly where they were even as I drew him forward until he was straddling my lap. I studied him for a long time, just taking in every bit of him that I could. The bruises on his face had darkened considerably but they took nothing away from his raw beauty. I let my fingers trail over his slightly parted lips before I pulled him down for a long, slow kiss. I felt his fisted hands press against my chest, but he didn’t actually caress me. But he did kiss me back without any hesitation or fear.